I made muffins.

Two things. Only two, because it is early and I am tired. Also, Mister Man is asleep in the swing next to me, so my time is not only precious, it is fleeting.

One.

Fiber One muffin mix is legit. The blueberries are pretty fake, but I only really like blueberries when they're fresh and not baked, so that's fine with me. Plus, it's 5g fiber per muffin. I want to eat two, but am afraid. 10g fiber in one go (um, no pun intended) is a potentially scary thing.

Which brings me to two. I am not cleaning out the catbox today, and I am not telling Hubby why.

I swear, I can't leave this cat alone with human food for 30 seconds. 

Seriously Literate-Winter '12

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), Mindy Kaling
Oh, Mindy. I would love for you to hang out with me. A goofy, funny light read by one of my fave funny girls. Similar to the Tiny Fey memoir, but more relatable, seeing that Mindy and I are the same age. Girl cracks me up. Which was necessary, seeing of the the darker stuff I've been reading lately.

Haunted, Chuck Palahniuk
I'm not going to mince words here. This book is majorly fucked up. Though if you've read Chuck before (Fight Club, Choke), you could have probably already guessed that. It's about a group of people who answer an ad to figuratively vanish, leaving their lives behind to take part in a 90 day writer's retreat. While telling the story of the retreat itself, every other chapter is an "autobiography" from one of the participants, explaining what was so messed up about their life that they wanted to just disappear like that.

Doesn't sound so bad, does it? Well, eventually they start dying. Still not convinced? Well, *spoiler alert* then they start eating each other. So, you know. It was a delightful read. Evening reads plus a hormonal preggo brain made for some awesome dreams that week. Homeboy can write. Just know you're in for quite a gory ride.

The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien
I'm totally an anti-war person. I hate the idea of it, I hate the blood and the violence and the death and the destruction. I don't do movies or documentaries about it, I don't do books about it, and I don't debate about it. (Am I making my point? I hate war.)

So of course, this book was about war. I put off reading it, even though it was highly recommended, but then after renewing it three times, I figured I needed to either read it or send it back...so I read it. And it pleasantly surprised me. It's about a group of young men during Vietnam...their friendships, their returns, and the murders they witnessed or took part in. The author describes himself as a bleeding-heart, so in all honesty, I'm sure that slant may have made a difference in the way it was written and in my ability to enjoy it. It wasn't uplifting, but it wasn't ugly, either. It was "honest," (It's fiction, but based on real events in part) and it was, really, quite engrossing. Sad and even sweet at times.

Damned, Chuck Palahniuk
Well, this one wasn't the ball of disgust that Haunted was, but it was of course no ray of sunshine, either. I kinda dug it, though. It was about the 13 year neglectedold daughter of massively famous parents (think Brangelina) who had died and is in hell, which is where the entire story takes place. Since there's no time in hell, I can imagine that the story takes place over years and years, but he zips through what can only be incredibly long situations (such as when she forges an army and gains power by taking down demons and true monsters like Hitler left and right-in stilettos, natch) within a short chapter at a time. It can be pretty funny, really. Disturbing, but funny if you're into the dark side of things.

The Particular Sadness of Lemoncake, Aimee Bender
Annnnd another one I read twice without remembering. Seriously, my brain. I don't know if I was attempting to read it drunk the first time, but I only remembered like, every other chapter. Very confusing.

The main character is a young girl who discovers she can taste the emotions, feelings, and situations of the person who made the food she eats, to the point where eating becomes nearly unbearable. (Her mother's well hidden misery gives way to the book's title, for example.) It's quite an interesting concept. I liked it. And reminds me to try and be in a good mood when I cook.

American Wife, Curtis Sittenfeld
I really liked this one. It's very long, but I never felt like it dragged. The story focuses on a young woman who finds herself in love with a man she never expected. She's a thoughtful, educated librarian, and he's the crass, rough and tumble heir to a conservative legacy who is pushed into politics. Eventually, he becomes president, and she's forced to juggle her more liberal leanings with her need to stay silent in public for the sake of her husband.

Sound familiar? It should. The book makes no attempt to disguise that it's loosely based on Laura Bush. I don't know much about the real Mrs. Bush, and have never really cared to, seeing how much I dislike her husband, but this makes me think that maybe she's worth learning more about. The character was fascinating and complex and sympathetic. Really liked the novel a lot.

Peach Keeper, Sarah Addison Allen
A typical Allen story. Sweet, charming and light. People fight falling in love, there's "magic" and mystery in the air, etc. etc. Nothing groundbreaking here, but I don't expect there to be with her. I just like the easy, sweet reads.

The Night Circus, Erin Morgenstern
So here's the deal. Hubs bought me a Kindle for Christmas, and I'm...struggling with it. When I was dependent on the library, I had a fire under my ass to get books read. Now that I'm back to my own devices (no pun intended), I'm not reading nearly as much or as often. Which is a little bothersome. No wonder I work in an industry with deadlines. I'd never get anything done otherwise. (BTW, thanks Mom. I know this is your genetic half.)

So. That said. I think I would have liked this book more had I read it more quickly. My brain is distracted enough these days, and dragging it out over a month or so meant I kept forgetting what was happening, who the characters were, all of that. But it really was a cool story-two illusionists/magicians/whatever you want to call them are chosen (by their twisted parents/adoptive 'masters') at a young age to compete against each other-problem is, they don't know it. Even bigger problem, they eventually fall in love. And all of this takes place within the tents of an incredible circus that almost mystically travels the globe, appearing only at night.

And this circus sounds amazing. And I really dislike the circus. But that's a whole other PETA-related thing we won't get into. There's already talk about making this one into a movie, but it would take a badass director with some insane vision to pull it off. I vote Baz Luhrman. (But I always vote for Baz.)

And now the eternal question...
I've got a couple on my Kindle ready to go right now-The Wedding Gift and Black Ice...does anyone have any short stories or easy reads they could recommend? I think my reading time is about to become even more rare very quickly and I need something light I can jump in and out of.

Seriously Literate-Fall '11

Ok, I've been reading like crazy, and it got a little away from me. And so here's my latest list...the annotated reviews. As always, taking all suggestions! Whatcha got for me this month?

Belly Laughs, Jenny McCarthy
Thank you for being pregnant, Jenny. And thanks for being you-not afraid to talk about poop, gas, and all the other grossness that comes along with pregnancy that no one else wants to talk about. (Note: I, however, don't do anything disgusting. My pregnancy is magical. Also, I am a liar.) Frank and hilarious.

The Liars Club, Mary Carr
Um, I already read this. And reviewed it. And then read it again accidentally, apparently. Moving on.

Runaway, Alice Munro
Not a fan. If a book or story can give off a "color", these short stories were beige. Maybe a dusty rose. Just really...muted. I don't know how else to explain them—they were sad and melancholy and not exciting at all. I'm sure that was purposeful, but they didn't do anything for me.

Saving Fish from Drowning, Amy Tan
Loved, loved. Such an interesting premise. A woman dies just before a trip abroad (one she has planned to lead), and her ghost tells the story of the strange happenings that occur to her tour group—a group of people who, to the rest of the world, simply vanish into thin air.

Valley of the Dolls, Jacqueline Susann
Kitchy fun. Loved it til the end, then I was just pissed off-I felt like a disappointed parent or something. Fictional or not, these people make some damn bad choices. Tsk, tsk.

The Poet, Michael Connelly
Fantastic crime drama about a serial killer and one of the victims' brothers, a crime journalist who does some massive investigating of his own, eventually entangling him with the FBI investigation. Very interesting, super creepy, good twists, fast paced. Good stuff.

The Forgotten Garden, Kate Morton
Such a pretty little package of a story. It's long, and it jumps from generation to generation with each chapter—which can get a little confusing at first—but by the end, everything makes sense. Every base is covered, every storyline is tied up, every question answered. And for that, I was grateful. It was beautiful.

Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan
My coworker B laughed at me when I told her I like to read about Asian families. Granted, it was an unexpected response. But it's true. And this was no different. It's a classic, as you probably already know, about a young woman learning about her mother posthumously. Really good. If you haven't already read it, you should.

House of Sand and Fog, Andre Dubus, III
Oh, my god, this book is so good. I don't know what I thought it was going to be about, but this was not it. It's quite literally about a house...a house and a huge misunderstanding/mistake, which intertwines three people as they try and fix it in their own ways. It's heartbreaking. Caution: hormonal people will cry.

The Paris Wife, Paula McClain
Focuses on Ernest Hemingway's first wife Hadley, the "older woman" (she's in her late 20s) he marries in his very early 20s. It follows the course of their whirlwind courtship, their marriage, most of which takes place in Europe-including, yes, Paris—and its inevitable demise. Very good.

Seriously Literate-Summer '11.1

Ok, time for me to take some more recommendations...what are your book clubs reading these days? Sobriety means more time for books, (and better reading comprehension) so keep them coming! Here's what I've knocked out in the past month or so...

The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Mockingjay, Suzanne Collins
Ok, FINALLY a series that everyone and their grandma raves about that's actually worth reading. Because, see, I fell for that crap with Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and I refuse (REFUSE) to read most popular "young adult fiction." (Twilight, anyone?) But I loved these books…I seriously gobbled up the first one, careened through the second (which admittedly was my least favorite of the three), and couldn't read the third book fast enough. If they pull this off well, The Hunger Games will make for some breathtaking movies. I would kill to work on the production/costume design team. Pun not intended...

Basically, in the future, our mostly poverty-stricken nation has been divided into 12 districts, and each year, a girl and boy are drawn by lottery to represent their district in what is known as the Hunger Games...the winner—the last one of the 24 still alive after a battle to the death—is guaranteed a safe, well-fed future for their family. At least, that's whats supposed to happen, but what happens at the end of this years' Hunger Games changes all that, and the winner ends up an unwilling symbol-then unwilling soldier-for the country's unrest and resulting mutiny. I hate books about war and all that crap, so it's really not that kind of story, if that's how I'm making it sound.

It's really hard to give a summation of a multiple book series without throwing out too many spoilers, so I'm just going to leave it at that. Truly disturbing concept, completely surprising, and massively engrossing. The main character is so layered and real...I loved her. Read it.

Zorro, Isabel Allende
This book is really, really long. If you read it, don't make my mistake and start it after the first two Hunger Games books, because you will be in agony trying to finish it so you can zip through the rest of that series. (I don't do the whole two books at once thing, and I don't stop books halfway through, as frustrated as I may be with them. It's rude.)

It took me a little bit to settle into it, but once I did, I was hooked, even when it started careening left and right and continent to continent and going on and ON about whatever events Zorro was participating in at the time. None of it is boring, and it's not really unnecessary, it was just really detailed...I was kind of surprised it didn't detail him sleeping more often. (Though I'm sure that would have been told well, too)

I didn't know going into this that Zorro is like Robin Hood..one of those characters that authors have taken over history and invented their own stories about. I should have, I guess, but whatever. This particular version tells of his youth and how he eventually begins developing his legendary persona. It's really good...just really long, like I said.

BossyPants, Tina Fey
Oh, Tina, Tina. I want you to adopt me and let me live with you. She's so smart and sarcastic and weird...kind of like my little sister, who is also fantastically entertaining.

I had this idea that she would be focusing more on parenting, so I was surprised that that subject only came up in the last few chapters. Instead, it was more of an autobiography, taking us through how she got where she is, but strewn throughout with completely ridiculous anecdotes and hopefully totally made up side stories.

If you like Tina Fey, and you think 30 Rock is a completely under-appreciated, brilliant half hour of television, you'll of course love this book. If you don't...we're probably not that close anyway. Maybe you'll like the next one...

Cutting For Stone, Abraham Verghese
This is the story of twin boys (told by one of their POVs) raised by a gynecologist and a surgeon at a missionary hospital in Ethiopia. Their genetics and surroundings pretty much ensure their career paths, not surprisingly, but most of the book is really about the heartbreaking/heartwarming aspects of life that happen to their extended, makeshift family in the meantime.

Verghese was actually a physician before he began (also) writing, which means you get a lot of technical details (one of my girlfriends commented that this novel had her reaching for the dictionary more than any other book in recent memory), but with every procedure or screening he discusses, the focus is on the doctor-patient relationship, not the clinical aspect (which meant I skipped over a lot of those scary medical words). I wish he were my physician. If his bedside manner is similar to the way he writes it should be, I'm sure he's extraordinary.

The Taken, Inger Ash Wolfe
This is the second in the Hazel Micallef series…I read the first one a couple months ago and loved it, and this was no different. Detective Inspector Micallef is an awesome character, and this novel is peppered with great supporting characters, which helps makes this generally fast paced mystery super engrossing.

Since this is (hopefully) going to be an ongoing series, I'm not going to review them as I read them—I'll just say that if you're into crime/thrillers/CSI-type stuff, but want more than what you'd normally get from, say, Patterson or Koontz, I say go for it.

Seriously Literate-Summer '11.0

It's amazing what a couple beach days and flying round trip across the country lets you accomplish, reading wise...I've been a reading machine the past month, so I'll spare you any long drawn out reviews (or, will try, anyway) and just post my basic impressions. If you want to chat/more info, you know where to find me.

Testimony, Anita Shreve
Well, I finally read my last Shreve novel. Not because I've read them all, just because I'm a) over it, and b) this one I really disliked. Way too confusing to read (each chapter changes tone, POV, and narrator. Weird.) and I just didn't like the story very much, which is about a teenage orgy that gets videotaped and leaked throughout a private boarding school campus, and then the mess/general life-fuckery that follows. (Is that a word? It's going to be my new favorite.) It got all kinds of rave reviews elsewhere, so I was actually looking forward to it, too. Eh. Oh, well.

Girl in Translation, Jean Kwok
Quick fact: Burbank is one of a long list of airports who have bookstores with a Read and Return program—you buy, you read, and you sell it back at a participating airport for 50% of the price. Which would have been even cooler had I not immediately lost my receipt after I bought this, but good to know all the same.

This is a semi-autobiographical story of a young girl who immigrates to America with her mother and is forced to spend her days struggling at school to fit in and gain her footing (she's incredibly bright, but the language barrier proves to be a constant battle for her), her evenings working in a sweatshop, and her nights attempting to survive in horrible sub-human living conditions. It's not an earth shatteringly new concept or story, but it was interesting to see the world we're used to from the other side...I liked it.

Sarah's Key, Tatiana DeRosnay
You know how you sometimes read a book knowing it's going to be sad...knowing what has to happen...and still get sucker punched into shedding a tear when it does? Sigh. I'm such a baby. And this one gut punched me twice-once in a sad way, once in a happy way, even though I knew both were coming.

This is not a good way to begin this review. So now, I will just say that I really enjoyed this novel. It tells two stories simultaneously-one of a Polish girl living in 1940's Paris, whose family is swept off to a concentration camp, and one of an American journalist living in 2000's Paris, who is assigned to write about the sweep 60 years later. Their stories become intertwined, family secrets are exposed, and lives are irreparably changed. Historically fascinating, incredibly sad, and hard to put down...I read this one between Buffalo and Las Vegas in one swoop.

I Know this Much is True, Wally Lamb
First thing out of Hubby's mouth when he saw this cover was, "(sneer) What's that about? Baaaabies?" Yes, darling. Just because I'm knocked up, I now read books about babies. What? No. It IS however, about twins—one of whom has schizophrenia, and the other who has to deal with the repercussions of his twin's turbulent actions. If you've read anything else by Wally Lamb, you know he doesn't mess around...he digs in deep and tells some effed up stories. But as dark and uncomfortable as they can be, they still seem...real. Thumbs up. Totally satisfying ending, even if it wasn't all puppies and rainbows.

The Calling, Inger Ash Wolfe
Ok, what is it with authors and pseudonyms? Just use your real name! Are you ashamed? Did you lose a bet? Trying to dodge your taxes? I don't get it. Cause Mr./Ms. Wolfe, all I know is that you're a Canuck (well, presumably anyway, your books take place in Canada), and a "well known North American novelist." And, damn it, I want to read more of your stuff, which is difficult when you play so coy.

Sigh.

This book reminded me why I love forensic crime dramas on TNT and devoured Patricia Cornwell novels back in the day...psychopaths can be fascinating. I'll be reading more of the mysterious Wolfe's novels, I guarantee that.

The Red Tent, Anita Diamant
I'd actually love to hear from those of you who read this, because I'm assuming some/most/all of you know more about the bible stories that this is based off of than I do, and I wonder how that changes the reading of this novel. My personal opinion was that, not knowing these stories at all,I had no idea what would happen, who these people were, and why/if they were important in the biblical sense. It also meant I spent a lot of time flipping to the front of the book to the family tree the author so kindly provides for people like me (and maybe like you, I don't know.)

Based solely on what it was, this is the story of the lone daughter in a family of a dozen siblings, her four mothers (sister-wives, in the most literal sense), their husband (Jacob), and her life both with and without this 'tribal' family. The detail is beautiful, even when telling of horrible happenings, and it's pretty easy to get pulled into the world that's being described. It's basically just her life's story. I was expecting something different, but it was good.


I also read the Hunger Games, but I'll spare you and leave that for August, when I'll read the rest of the trilogy. In the meantime, just go get it and read it. You'll devour it. I've also got another Inger Ash Wolfe mystery, Cutting for Stone, and Zorro. And hopefully Matt Taibbi's The Great Derangement, but we own that one, so it keeps getting pushed back for library books.

Happy Reading!

Calamari problem solved.

Dear Thai Taste on Panama and Stine,
Your service kinda sucks. But your giant, panko breaded, sweet chili sauce sided calamari rings totally win.
That is all.
Love, Pammy

Seriously Literate, June'11

Yes, I still read...and I'm trying to get back to reading regularly. Like writing, it seems to be something I'm struggling with lately. (Oh, you HAVEN'T noticed I haven't posted in two months? You're sweet. And a liar. But thanks all the same.)

But it's summer, and summer is perfect reading time. I like having a book to take with me outside, to lie on the couch with, and to take to the gym. But since soooooommmmeone forgot to return a book on time and therefore wasn't allowed to borrow any more til the fine was paid (Um, oops...though I paid it under protest...it was NOT a week late. It was like, two days. Come on.), I haven't been at the library until recently. I will also apologize in advance that ONCE AGAIN, I read an Anita Shreve and a Sarah Addison Allen novel...I'm a little short on recommendations lately, so I'm happy to take any and all suggestions! In the meantime...enjoy.

A Tiger in the Kitchen: A Memoir of Food and Family, Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan
This book was actually a highly thoughtful gift from the Boss Lady—I love that a memoir about learning to cook while discovering one's lost culture made her think of me. And it was so good. Written by an ex-fashion writer from New York (and Singapore before that), Cheryl comes to realize she not only cannot cook (a shame on its own!), but cannot cook the Singaporean dishes she grew up on and misses in her life in the US.

After realizing the best way to learn is by experience, she sets off on a roughly year-long journey back and forth between her homeland and home, learning from the best—family, chefs, and friends. It's funny, clever, and sweet. I also love that the book has a collection of the recipes she attempts to master...I'm hoping to try one or two when I get the book back from Boss Lady (it seemed the least I could do was loan it to her when I finished!)

A Change in Altitude, Anita Shreve
Finally, a story by Shreve set somewhere other than the North East coast! It's funny, because I was just reading some reviews about this novel on Amazon, and it's very split...I'm wondering if that shift is part of the reason. For me, I found it refreshing. Set in Kenya several decades ago, the story revolves around a young married couple—the husband Patrick has signed on to a Doctors Without Borders-like program, and the wife Margaret, a photographer, has come along for the bumpy ride.

Of course, through a series of events, including a beyond-disasterous (non-spoiler:someone dies) hike to the top of Mount Kenya, their marriage is tested, strained, and irrevocably changed. Some of you may find Margaret's actions and feelings bordering on the inappropriate, but I found them frighteningly honest and even understandable, especially as her marriage grows more and more unlike what it once was.

It's not an uplifting story, which isn't exactly surprisingly for Shreve, but it's an interesting one.

The Girl Who Chased the Moon, Sarah Addison Allen
Allen's stories are just. so. cute. As usual, this one takes place in a small town full of 'unexplained' going-ons...wallpaper that changes according to the tenant's mood, lights that dance through the forest at night...it's fantastical without being what I consider "fantasy"—there are no demons, trolls, or spells in this world; it's got just enough magic to make it a fairytale without being completely out there.

I didn't like it as much as I loved Garden Spells, but it was delightful all the same. If you're looking for an easy, sweet way to immerse yourself into a summer book, I definitely recommend.

Steamed veggies a la microwave.

I'm kind of in love with the new(ish) Steam Fresh line of frozen veggies. We've tried a handful of them—green beans, a few types of Asian mixed veggies...they're always 2 or 3 for $6 bucks, so I tend to just grab a couple kinds. Yesterday I grabbed some baby brussel sprouts. Gotta say...like the rest, they're not bad at all.

In fact, according to hubby, "all vegetables should be cooked this way."

Well, ok! Pretty much the best veggie review ever—especially when all I did was saute a little bit of butter (about a large tbsp of the light fake stuff, actually) with a couple minced garlic cloves, then added the microwave cooked sprouts and tossed with salt and fresh pepper. Took a total of 6 minutes. And look how cute they are!

Yes, I just called veggies "cute." But they are. And quite tasty, too...

Losing.

Charlie Sheen has affected my life this week. Not due to his blatant love of winning, tiger's blood, hookers, and illicit drugs...not because his now-hiatused (is that a word?) sitcom provided moral and intellectual value to our society (it does/did not. God, it's awful)...not because I even give a rat's ass about what happens next to this freakshow. Wisely, I think, cause his days are pretty much numbered.


No, Carlos Estevez has actually affected me for two good reasons.

Reason #1: I hate Tweeting.
My train-wreck loving self finally got back on twitter to follow said wreck (why? Whhhyyyyyy???), which meant I a) finally got caught up on ShhhDon'tTellSteve (best.feed.ever) and b) remembered that I hate twitter. Both good things.

Reason #2: Reinforcement that my husband has the best boss in the world.
Enter Charlie Sheen Night with the Bakersfield Condors. Dude, it's made national news. That's freakin' hysterical. Talk about having a sense of humor, even with all the local morality police throwing fits about it. (OMG! BY PROMOTING HIM, YOU ARE PROMOTING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!"...apparently the morality police are fine with illegal drug use and hookers. It's nice to know where they stand.) And I appreciate that. These guys know how to jump on a bandwagon and get some seats filled.

Even my normally pop-culture/current event stunted officemate Opie is getting in on this madness. And this is a guy who's never even seen Two and a Half Men. Ever. Yet everything out of his mouth today has to do with Winning...and he is soooo stoked for the game and doesn't at all seem to appreciate my (nor his wife's) ambivalence towards this man.

Following yet another Winning joke...
Pammy: I effing hate Charlie Sheen right now.
Op: You do not.
Pammy: I do.
Op: Come onnn...you love him.
Pammy: Normally I'd say I don't hate the player, I hate the game...but really, he's the only one playing, soo...

And unfortunately, he seems to be winning. Damn you, Charlie Sheen. I just can't look away.

Sushi: A Valentine's Day Story

If you're a fan of my Facebook page, you know I had a hard time deciding where to go with hubby for an early V-day dinner. My options were sushi from Toro, Caribbean tapas from Mama Roomba's, or basque from Chalet Basque. (I apparently need to talk to these people about having websites done, btw) We eventually decided on Toro, which was fitting, seeing that we inevitably drop far more cash than we intend to every time we go, and therefore reserve it only for special occasions, i.e. Birthdays and Valentine's Day.

Anyway, the night was bittersweet. As usual, it was great atmosphere with great people watching (the girl next to me was wearing a gigantor wrist corsage and face bedazzling, even though it appeared she was on a date with her mother), but it was also kind of a rude awakening, food wise. Because I finally realized I really don't like sushi.

I've always thought I loved sushi. Hubby's and my first date was at Zen 5, and while it was 6+ years ago and I have no clue what was ordered, I know we loved it (though it may have been our infatuation haze)…I love, love Sushi Deli in downtown San Diego (though my favorite thing is the scallops dynamite…which is baked…and I've almost mastered.)

So it's confusing for me, because I turn up my nose at California rolls (psssh, for beginners), yet shy away from rainbow rolls (that's a LOT of raw fish),and my favorite appetizer at Toro is seared Ahi (AKA the Screaming Orgasm).

Yum.

But no matter where we go, I'm almost always disappointed by rolls. I don't like when they have extraneous stuff on top:
I don't like too much fish, and I shy away from tempura (calories, not taste). I do like anything with eel, eel sauce, and/or avocado…and now that I've finally realized I only want Dragon rolls (eel and avo), I have no idea what the hell to order next time. Cause why go to a fancy place for a super standard roll?

Well, cause I can have Sapporo and sake, and both of those typically equal a good (yet overpriced) night for me. So next time we hit Toro, I'm going for the Korean part of the menu. (And I'm not ordering green tea ice cream. Not only should it be free, it should not be doused in ridiculousness. Really Toro? Keep it simple. WTF.) Or better yet, maybe we'll just hit up some Tapas and Sangria. Or Basque and wine...My birthday is coming up…

I'm so ready to cook.

After last week's non-cooking, I'm ready for a challenge…so it's officially Jamie Oliver week. I totally got excited/ahead of myself and shopped for like a week's worth of food...only to later realize that I'd only be cooking Sunday, Monday, Tuesday (only for myself, Hubby has a game), and Wednesday...Thursday I'll be in LA hanging with Daniel Tosh (as well as two of my fave gf's), followed by a ridic weekend of LA/SD/LA/back home. So needless to say, a lot of what I bought ended up in the freezer. On the menu we have beer butt chicken, green chili, and couscous and zucchini salad...and once things are thawed, we also have gumbo and enchiladas. First, however, we're trying braised pork with greens and turnips.


I have never made collared or other greens…I've only even used kale and swiss chard like once each, so I have no idea what I'm doing. Jamie was kinda vague, so I did a quick peek around the interweb and took some advice from Ms. Paula Deen—after washing the greens, I cut out the hard center stalks before slicing them. Pretty sure this was a good call, cause they were super tender.

Jamie's recipe also calls for pork knuckle…I have no idea what that is, and the only real descriptions I found online were less than helpful ("A lean boneless cut from the tip portion which is the front part of the leg above the kneecap also known as the forecushion of the hog. Braised or "red cooked" pork knuckle is a classic Shanghainese dish"......oh.). Whatever the hell it is, Vons definitely didn't have it…so we went with pork shoulder, instead. And it was fantastic...fall off the bone-tender-fantastic.

As I served this, I told Hubby that Jamie is convinced that everyone has a favorite part, be it veggies, pork or broth, and to be ready to pick one. So once all the dishes were clean and we were settling down for the Grammys (you're so welcome to everyone who got to follow my running commentary on fb last night), I asked for his decision. His answer? "I liked the veggies...and the broth...and the meat was great."

Normally I would totally roll my eyes at this non-response, but to be honest, I totally agree. The meat was perfectly tender, the veggies were delish, and we both slurped up the broth at the end, totally face first. Next time I may even try this in the slow-cooker and see how it turns out. Cause there will definitely be a next time.

And with that, day one of the Jamie Oliver Experiment complete, I gotta say...I'm excited for the rest of the week.


Greens with Pork and Turnips
Pork Shoulder (ours was 3lbs, that was the smallest they had)
S&P
Cooking spray
4 Bay leaves
A couple large bunches of greens (I used one bunch of mustard greens and one bunch of kale, both washed and stalks removed)
2 or 3 carrots, peeled and cut in big pieces
2 or 3 stalks of celery, trimmed and cut in big pieces
4 or 5 medium sized turnips, peeled and quartered
Vinegar and tabasco to serve

Sprinkle pork with salt and pepper. Coat a large soup/stock pan with cooking spray and heat over high heat. Be sure and use a large enough pan; I started with my dutch oven, but had to relocate everything to a stock pan once it came time for the veggies. Not something I recommend. When hot, add meat. Place two bay leaves on top and cook over high for a couple of minutes. Turn meat over, repeat with remaining bay leaves, and brown the other side another couple minutes.

Reduce heat to medium and add about 3 cups water. When it comes to a boil, cover and let simmer over medium low for about 2 hours or until the meat starts falling off the bone. Add carrots, turnips and celery and a good pinch each of salt and pepper. If the water is really low, add another half cup or so. Cook about 20 minutes, add greens (smash them down if you need to!), stir it up a bit, and cook another 30 minutes or so or until tender. (If you are using collard greens, they take longer, so put them in at the same time as the turnips, carrots and celery and cook about an hour total.)

The meat should be basically unattached from the bone at this point, so it should be easy to remove. Besides the bone, also remove any pieces of fat you can see and the bay leaves. Add a good few shakes of tabasco and/or vinegar before you dish it up (and we each added more tabasco at the table).

You'll probably want to serve with some bread to help mop up any extra goodness.

The Jamie Oliver Experiment

I'm not sure how I feel about Jamie Oliver. I mean, I hardly ever watch him, and I don't know much about him...Being British indisputably gives him that pompous air, which is bad, yet funny (you know this is true)…but he's got that laid-back vibe going on, which is good...so far, the worst thing I can find about him is that his children are named Poppy Honey Rosie, Daisy Boo Pamela, Petal Blossom Rainbow and Buddy Bear Maurice. Though, really. That's, well...siiiigh. I can't talk crap about people's kids. Even if it's just their names. But come. on. Even for a big hippie-fan like myself, that's kinda much.

Anyway. Hubby bought me one of his cookbooks for Christmas, and thumbing through it, we both saw tons that looked great. So, as a heads-up, we'll be adding a lot of his recipes in the next few months.

This particular recipe came from his website; I was at work when I made my shopping list, so the first couple we're going to try are basically our 'intro to Jamie' recipes. Starting with Linguine with Tomatoes and Capers.

At the beginning, I was a little worried. A) I had never heard of tomato passata, and even me, the Google Queen, couldn't find any definitive explanations for it. Instead, it was a bunch of generic, "it's sorta tomato paste but not tomato paste and sometimes it's cooked and sometimes it's not and it's not really sauce but it's kinda sauce...and so I was forced to wing it. And B) This is basically red clam linguine, sans clam. And since I think the clam is the best part of red clam linguine, I was worried it would be pretty much blah.


All was fine. For my passata, I chopped a brown onion and about 6 garlic cloves, sauteed them in a bit of olive oil about 5 minutes, then added about half a can of tomato puree (the big can). Cooked a few minutes and then proceeded with the recipe. Easy, especially with my chopper. And I do love easy.

Final results? We both give thumbs up. Simple, fast, and tasty. Make sure and use the lemon, btw, I think it brightens it up quite a bit.

Insert Pickle joke here...

Oh. good. god. Our curry last night was over spiced. In my own defense, I only have a couple years of experience in this realm under my belt. One day, when perfected, you will get a recipe. Until then, however, you have to listen to my frustrations. And Hubby didn't mind much, since that's basically how he likes it, but it was a bit much for this little white girl. Probably cause I used Madras curry AND garam masala, and it definitely needed more curry than masala, and significantly less of both. Yowsers.

So, yeah, my bad. But what I don't understand, when dealing with flavor-packed curries, is why pickle makes it easier to eat.


Do we not know pickle? (Yeah, I'm asking that kind of like an a-hole, cause I had no idea what it was pre-Hubby.) Pickle is basically a type of relish. Personally, I'm fond of either lime pickle or chili-mango pickle. The Husband likes his garlic pickle, not surprisingly…but no matter what kind you like, it's going to make whatever you're eating alongside it crazy tasty.

I really don't know how to describe it…it's super sour and spicy…like an insanely rich sour chutney? I don't know. It's not something you eat on its own, but I've had it on everything from plain white rice to super intense Indian foods. So if you're into Indian food, or just up for something new, I recommend picking some up and trying it for yourself. You probably will have to go to a specialty store, so if you're interested and don't have one around, let me know…I've got paypal and have a UPS guy on speed dial.

Seriously, it's good. Trust me on this one.

This is not a Thanksgiving post.

Just wanted to make that clear from the get-go. Yes, turkey day was like 2 weeks ago. My bad.

But no, this is a rant about soup. Canned soup. Campbell's canned soup, to be exact.

The thing about Campbell's that bugs me is that Campbell's always tastes like Campbell's...in other words, all of their (broth-based condensed soups, at least) taste exactly the same. Is this a bad thing? Well...it's not a good thing, let me put it that way. Give me some variety! Chicken Noodle, Chicken with Rice, Chicken with Stars...one soup, different filler. Whatever. Not like I ever eat them, so I really don't care.

However. They now have this new "Taste Sensations" line, including a Won Ton variety. Now, we know how I feel about soup, Asian soup in particular...I can eat it all.day.long. So obviously I had to try it.



Hmm. Turns out I could have just eaten a can of Chicken Noodle; it tastes exactly the same. Even the 'wontons' were just little pasta pillows-thick and virtually empty. Bleh. On the upside, a whole can is only 125 calories. And I like eating entire cans of things.

Just in case anyone has seen this line and was curious...it's what I'm here for.

-posted out of laziness from my iPhone.