Thursday, January 24, 2013

11 whole months of E.

I'm too tired and stressed out to even begin making bad excuses for not having written the past two months, so...exhale...moving on. Here we go.

This kid is too much. He indiscriminately says "dada" and "blahblah," (but no "m" words whatsoever), waves at everyone at the grocery store (and starts flapping his little hand as soon as I open the bedroom door when he wakes up), claps while running around, eats constantly, and gives some awesome kisses. He also destroys everything. Everything.

He's like Baby Hulk or something. The things he picks up and lugs around the house kill me. They'll be as big as or as heavy as he is...laundry baskets, hair dryers, giant toys...and then he chucks them as hard as he can. Seriously watch your toes around this kid. I've been decked by The Joy of Cooking, hubby's been taken out by a curling iron. I'm glad our floors aren't real wood, or they'd be dented to all hell by now. 

"No" is hilarious. He understands what it means, and he'll stop whatever he's doing, but then he'll give you a ridiculous little devil smirk and sneak right back to trash digging or highchair climbing to get to the bookcase or running through the house while emptying the toilet paper roll—all with a HUGE grin on his face—til I grab him and pull him away/out. It's totally my fault for giggling. (Note: He knows that the heater is off limits. The important stuff is actually enforced.)

We go through a lot of books at nap time. Now that he's discovered he can turn the pages, we flip. I get maybe 3 words out, and he's on to the next page. Then we look at the cover. Then back to the page. Next. Next. Next. All done. Back to page two. Repeat. Backwards. So instead of reading one or two books, we now "read" three or four.

I don't care, he loves it. But that pretty much sums up most of the things we do all day. He also loves to high five, ideally in the middle of dinner time. What am I going do, NOT slap an eager little slime covered hand? Come on. So I'm covered in applesauce and slobber. Definitely not the worst thing he's gotten on my hands in the past 11 months. Buh. Said it before and I'll say it again. Babies are gross.

I seriously owe the Dixie Chicks a beer. I cannot explain the phenomenon, but Lullaby is the best song on.the.planet. We still sing it once at each nap time, and it's apparently not my wonderous singing voice that does the trick. Tired crying in the car on a car trip? Put that shit on blast and he's instantly quiet. And usually asleep before it's started over (because obviously it's set on repeat. We'll listen to it 5 times in a row just to make sure he stays asleep.) Also, FYI, it is possible to wear out an mp3 file.

As for me, I've started avoiding the camera. And the mirror, for that matter. I just look tired. My skin is decent enough, but the purple bags under my eyes are unacceptable. Tinted moisturizer may be great for people who have slept within the past 11 months, but it's not doing much for me. And I'm not leaving the house for long enough periods to put on full foundation every day.

And E's finally sleeping through the night, so I can't even blame him. Out by 7pm and up sometime between 5 and 7am. If its 6:30 or earlier, I can usually give him a boob and he goes back to sleep for an hour. The cat, however, has begun waking at 4am. It's a whole ordeal. (Hubby would like to interject that we have a cat for sale. We do not.) It's just the working from home when he's needing more and more constant attention that's killing me. My nanny only comes 12 hours a week, and I could honestly use her for 40. Or, you know, 80. Plus.

In not un-related news, I've also gained 6 pounds. Turns out not working out and only breastfeeding 30 minutes a day burns less calories than the 10 hours a day the first few months I now have to add "lose 15 lbs" to my to-do list. Rad. Why not.

The big 1.0 is next. How am I planning E's 1st birthday already? For the record, I don't really get the whole 1st birthday party as an EVENT thing. He's one. He doesn't care. I can give him peas and sit and have a Let's Wave at Each Other for 5 Minutes party and he'd probably be just as happy. (If not happier.) And my house is small and he already has a lot of toys. A lot. So we're just having parents and a couple aunts and uncles over for appetizers. He'll eat peas.

Seriously. He really, really likes peas. 

Photos to come, I'm sure. Wish me good sleeping in the meantime.