I feel like "Easy" and "Fast" should be the same thing.

Being the size of a house right now, and without the energy to make much more than salads these days, I've been looking for quick and easy dinner ideas.

(And this would be y'alls cue to send me quick and easy dinner ideas.)

I'm bored with Cooking Light recipes. Allrecipes.com is fabulous, but impossible to browse unless you have some inkling about what you want. So I went back to Sam for some help.

He promised these eggrolls would be easy and tasty. Both are true. But easy does not necessarily equal fast. Although, now that I'm thinking about it, if I hadn't also been juggling making cookies and cooking everything in a toaster oven, I could have had these done in one pass. Also, chopping pre-cooked shrimp, sauteeing for less than five minutes, prepping the rolls for another 5 minutes, and baking for 15ish minutes certainly sounds like it's fast. Sooo, how about Ms. Whineypants over here just shuts up and gives you the recipe already.

Served with Sam's Baked Scallops. Something went terribly wrong with my panko and they ended up with total mush around them, but they still tasted good. Add some sriracha to the sauce, it's worth it.

Shrimp Eggrolls
peanut oil
1 bag mixed cabbage for coleslaw (usually white, red and carrots)
8oz cooked shrimp, chopped
1/4 cup of stir fry sauce (We used Saigon Sizzle)
Sriracha (optional)
10 spring roll/eggroll wrappers (from the refrigerated section)
Spray oil
Sesame seeds
Soy sauce (low sodium)

Heat a bit of peanut oil in a wok or large skillet/saute pan. Add cabbage mix, and saute for a couple of minutes until it starts to soften just a bit. Add shrimp, and saute another minute or two. Stir in sauce and a good squirt of sriracha (if you like spicy). Remove pan from heat and let sit 5-10 minutes until cool enough to handle.

Spray a baking sheet with spray oil and heat the oven to 375.

Take an eggroll wrapper and place it with a corner facing you. Add a scoop of filling-2 tbsp or so-and spread it out a bit widthwise. Fold the right and left corners a bit over the filling, then roll up the whole thing away from you. Use a bit of water to wet the wrapper to close it and place on the baking sheet. (You'll get the hang of it. You'll no doubt have extra wrappers if you need to start over a couple of times.)

Spray each roll with cooking spray and sprinkle with sesame seeds. Cook about 8-10 minutes, then flip and cook another 5-8 minutes or until they begin to brown.

For dipping sauce, mix another tbsp of stirfry sauce with 1 tbsp of soy sauce. Add a bit of sriracha or rice vinegar, depending on your mood/taste.

About 75 calories each.

Something fishy.

Fish tacos, to me, are not fried. They're light, they're fresh, and they're simple. And because I'm not really in the mood to write right now, that's all I'm going to say about that.

These turned out great. Super easy, too, especially if you buy pre-shredded cabbage. Use good tortillas, too. I'm super into the Tortilla Factory handmade style tortillas right now. They're nice and thick and don't break when you fold them.

Fish Tacos
2 6oz Mahi Mahi filets (I used defrosted frozen ones and it was fine)
garlic powder
S&P
Cumin
1/3 cup 0% greek yogurt
Juice from half a lime (save lime)
3 tbsp cilantro, chopped
1 green onion, chopped
Shredded cabbage
8 Corn tortillas

Combine yogurt, lime, green onion, and 1 tbsp cilantro. Add a good pinch of cumin, mix well.

Rub fish with the lime half, and sprinkle well with cumin, salt, pepper, and garlic salt. Bake at 375 for 15 minutes or until cooked through and flakes easily with a fork. Flake into large chunks.

Warm tortillas, and fill with cabbage, fish, and yogurt sauce. Top with remaining cilantro and Tapatio or other hot sauce, if you want.

Serves 4. Good with refried black beans (spiced with a bit of hot sauce before heating).

Note: Substitutions don't always work as planned.

I think my mouth is still on fire from this one.

While on my marathon Cooking Light recipe search this week, I found this recipe for spicy salmon that looked like a winner...It calls for 2 tbsp of chili garlic sauce, which we don't have…so I figured I'd just use 2 tbsp fresh chili paste (Sambal Oelek) mixed with 2 minced garlic cloves. Um, no. I'm pretty sure that was a dumb assumption on my part. I know CL recipes, and they tend to lean on the bland side, so I can only assume their version is not supposed to be so. ridiculously. spicy. Eh. You live and learn. Substitutions don't always work.

The flavor was delicious, yes, but so incredibly en fuego that I ended up having to scrape most of it off before I could eat. (I can handle heat, too, so this amused Hubby to no end...he totally iron-stomached it.) So if you do need to go this route and substitute, just brush the glaze on ONCE, not twice, or just use garlic plus one tbsp chili paste instead of two.

I served with CL's recommended Sugar Snap Peas.These were meh. Fine, not OMG Best Peas Ever!, but easy, especially when you buy the steam-in-the-bag peas. (Which admittedly may have had something to do with their meh-ness, but come on. So much easier.)

I also threw together some couscous at the last minute-1/2 cup couscous, 1/2 cup hot water, which I covered and let sit about 4 minutes, then stirred in about a tsp of butter, a tsp or so of orange zest and a squeeze of orange juice, a sprinkle of chopped green onion I had been saving to top the salmon with, and salt and pepper.


Chili Garlic Salmon
2 6-8oz salmon fillets
2 tbsp chili garlic sauce
one green onion, thinly sliced
1 tbsp marmalade
Squeeze of orange juice (about 1/8 of the orange I used for the zest)
1/2 tsp soy sauce

Rinse salmon and pat dry. Cover broiler pan with aluminum foil and coat with cooking spray. Arrange salmon, skin side down. Turn on broiler (Or you can grill this, if you prefer)

Mix remaining ingredients in small bowl. Brush about half the mix over salmon. Broil for 5 minutes, then brush on remaining mixture. Broil another 2-4 minutes, depending on the thickness of the fish. Serve hot.

Take that, Trisha.

I've been working on not eating anything fried over the past couple months. It's not good for me, it really doesn't make things taste better (with the exception of calamari), and I for some reason always dwell on some comment somewhere by Trista Sutter about how there is never a reason to eat fried food and for some sad reason, it now shames me when I do. (I am also shamed that I know who Trista Sutter is, though in my defense, I googled Trisha Sutter when trying to find a link for this rant)

Anyway, Hubby started pestering asking for my favorite version of Coconut Shrimp recently, and it literally wasn't until we sat down and I started shoveling them in my mouth that I realized, Hey jackass...have we forgotten the concept of FRIED??


Oops. Whatever. Once in a while won't kill you. My new rule is no ordering anything fried. Except calamari. Cause there's no way I'm attempting that one at home.

As for the shrimp, buy large ones, and if you can, have the butcher de-vein and butterfly them. Otherwise, make sure you at least de-vein them yourself. It's gross, but less gross than eating shrimp poop. I don't care of it's plankton. It's still poop. And it doesn't make it better to call it a vein, thankyouverymuch.

If you don't know how to do this...ugh. How do I explain this one easily...how about I let someone else do it for me. (Thank you Umamimart!!)

Read the ingredients through before you start-since you have to dip the shrimp in several things, I'm posting each step's ingredients separately...it should make prepping for this one a little easier, hopefully.


Coconut Shrimp
SHALLOW BOWL ONE
About 1/4 cup flour (rice flour works better than white, but whichever you've got)

BOWL TWO (combine the following)
1 egg, beaten lightly
1/2 cup flour (see flour note above)
2/3 cup beer (one with some taste is better than, say, Coor's Light.)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

SHALLOW BOWL THREE
2 cups flaked coconut (should be in the baking aisle by the chocolate chips)

24 large, prepped (deveined/shelled) raw shrimp
3 cups canola oil
1/2 cup orange marmalade
1 tbsp horseradish (add more to taste)
2 tsp mustard

Tip: Use one hand for the dipping. If you use two you will make a horrid mess, get coconut all over the place, and be annoyed at the world. Trust me on this one.

Line a baking sheet with wax paper or aluminum foil.

Hold a shrimp by the tail, dip it in flour to coat, and gently shake off excess flour. Dip in egg/beer batter, and allow the excess to drip off. Gently roll shrimp in coconut, covering both sides, and place on the baking sheet. When all the shrimp are dipped, place baking sheet in the fridge for an hour or so. (The freezer for 15 min. will work if you're in a pinch)

To make the dipping sauce, combine marmalade, horseradish and mustard. It's not exact, so use more of less of each if you want.

In large, deep saute or other pan, heat oil over high heat. To test whether it's hot enough (at least 350 degrees), drop in a piece of coconut. If it sizzles immediately and soon turns golden brown, you're good to go.

Add shrimp about 6 at a time (or less, depending on the size of your pan). Cook, turning once with tongs, for 2 to 3 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove shrimp to paper towels to drain. Serve hot with sauce.

Clammy, in a good way

I really, really love clam linguine. It's easy, it's quick, and it goes well with wine. So, hello, I'm all for it.

You could use fresh clams, if you were so inclined, but, um, I'm not. I'm poor. And impatient, so...I go with the canned ones. They totally work just fine.


Clam Linguine
2 servings cooked pasta (linguine/spaghetti/whatever)
olive oil
3-6 cloves chopped garlic, more or less depending on your preference
1 can whole baby clams, undrained
1 can chopped clams, undrained
1/3 cup or so of white wine
red chili flakes
salt and pepper
Handful chopped parsley
Splash of milk or half and half
Half a lemon plus slices
Fresh grated parmesan or romano cheese

Heat a bit of olive oil in large skillet, then saute garlic over medium for a couple minutes. Drain the clam liquid into skillet, saving clams. Add wine, a good shake of red pepper (to taste), and a good pinch each salt and pepper.

Bring to a low boil, let cook about 4 minutes. Add clam pieces. Let cook another couple minutes, then add pasta, parsley, milk, and juice from the half lemon. Mix well, cook about 2 minutes. Serve hot with cheese and a lemon slice.

East coast steamers, west coast style.

I love everything about steamer platters but the name. Well, and the price. So when seafood's on sale, I figure it's the best time to recreate at home. You know, go big. Take advantage...cause long story short, I love seafood. This was my first try...I'm not disappointed, even having used defrosted seafood.

West Coast Steamer

Medium onion, chopped
About 6-8 garlic cloves, peeled but whole
2 tsp or so olive oil
1/2 tbsp butter
Smoked paprika (or you can use a sliced kielbasa. Those are strange options, but all I've got. I'm sorry.)
About 1tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper
Small baby red potatoes, about 2 lbs, washed
2 ears of corn, cut in thirds
One package raw shrimp, deveined, shells on
Package frozen bay scallops, thawed
Crab legs (as much as you can afford, I can't usually do more than a lb.)
Any other seafood you want, in one inch or so cubes.
1.5 cups of white wine
Salt, lemon to taste

Heat olive oil and butter in a soup pot. Add onion, sauté a couple minutes. Add garlic cloves. Sauté all for about 10 min. Layer down the potatoes and corn.



Add seafood; shrimp, then scallops and other seafood, then crab.


Poor wine over everything, bring to a boil. Cover and reduce a bit to medium. Cook about 15 min or until potatoes are done.

Remove everything and put in serving dish, saving broth. Season broth as you like, with salt, garlic, lemon, etc. Pour broth over platter.



You'll need bread for this one. It's soppy.

I took a photo of the "after," but I'm ashamed to post it. Let's just say...delicious.


-posted out of laziness from my iPhone.

Pineapple Party!

I love themed parties. Well, more specifically, theme parties where I don't have to dress up. I hate that. (Yes, baby sis, you throw a great theme party. I forgive you cause Mad Men makes for a better outfit than, say, the 80s.)

But the best themed parties (hang on, is it theme parties? Themed parties? Parties with a theme? I'm exhausted. Help, please.)are the ones where people have to potluck to said theme. Countries, types of food, time of day, whatever. (Totally includes brunch, by the way.)

So when the hubby, a couple of his coworkers and I decided to watch Pineapple Express together Friday night, we figured we'd do it right and make it a pineapple party.

I got over-excited (pineapple steak kebobs*, pineapple fried rice (see below), pineapple (two) and a coconut (why not)) but so did they...case in point:


Um, awesome. That's a cup, and we will be using them again...plus fancy pineapple straws, Malibu, orange crush (to mix), wine, beer, and utterly ridiculously hilarious conversation...y'all are invited back anytime.

Pineapple Shrimp Fried Rice
1 cup white or jasmine rice, cooked according to directions and cooled
Can of pineapple chunks, drained
Small handful cilantro, chopped
Sriracha
Chili oil
About a pound of raw shrimp, peeled and deveined
Peanut oil
3 or 4 cloves garlic
One large shallot, halved and sliced thinly
About 1-2 tsp brown sugar
About 3 tbsp fish sauce
About 2 tbsp terriyaki sauce
About 2 tbsp low sodium soy sauce (sub all soy sauce if you don't have terriyaki)

Mix cilantro, pineapple, and a large squirt sriracha (less or more, it's spicy and you can always add more), set aside.

Heat a tbsp or so of chili oil (or canola) in wok or large sauté pan. Sauté shrimp about 4 minutes or until cooked (will turn white). Remove from pan and keep warm.

Heat a tbsp or so of peanut oil, and sauté garlic and shallot about 2 minutes. Add rice, brown sugar, fish, terriyaki and soy sauces. Mix gently til well combined. Add shrimp, continue stir frying til hot. Fold in cilantro/pineapple mix.

*Leftover cooked Soy Vay marinated steak with mushrooms, shallots, red bell pepper, pineapple and cherry tomato kebobs, btw, make for surprisingly good salad two days later over romaine and with lite blue cheese dressing.

Hubby gets the genius award for this one. Yum.


-posted out of laziness from my iPhone.

Halibut with Mint-Cilantro Sauce

Halibut with Mint-Cilantro Sauce
From a Cooking Light recipe

One serrano chile, halved
handful cilantro leaves
small handful fresh mint
About 3 stalks green onion, chopped roughly
1/2 cup fat free plain yogurt
About 2 tbsp low-fat cream cheese
Good squeeze fresh lemon juice (about 1/4 a lemon)
small piece(about 1/2 inch) peeled fresh ginger, chopped roughly
good pinch salt (1/8 tsp-ish)
good pinch sugar
good pinch cumin seeds (or ground)
2 garlic cloves
About 1/2 teaspoon garam masala*
salt
6-ounce skinless halibut fillets (two or four)
butter

*If you don't have Garam Masala, mix some curry powder, cinnamon, garlic powder, allspice and cumin. Or any combination of those.)

In food processor (or blender), pulse serrano until finely chopped. Add cilantro, mint, onion, yogurt, cream cheese, lemon juice, ginger, salt, sugar, cumin, and garlic until as smooth as you can get it.

Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Combine garam masala and about 1/4 teaspoon salt; sprinkle evenly over fish. Add a splash of oil and a small pat of butter to pan; swirl until butter melts. Add fish to pan; cook 3 minutes on each side or until cooked through and flaky (you could also grill for a few minutes a side). Serve sauce over fish.

Tapas Style Shrimp

Tapas Style Shrimp
1 lb large shrimp, peeled and deveined
4-6 cloves of garlic, minced
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp red pepper flakes
2-3 oz sherry or vermouth
a tbsp or so of olive oil
chopped fresh parsley
juice of one lemon
and if you're lucky enough to get to eat it, a Baguette to sop up the nummy-ness.

Saute the garlic and red pepper flakes about a minute. Raise heat to medium high, and add shrimp, juice, sherry, and both paprikas. Saute about 3-4 minutes, or until shrimp is pink throughout and no longer transparent. Season with salt and pepper.

Pour all into a serving dish, sprinkle with parsley. Eat immediately. I dare you not to eat it all.

Healthy Week, day one.

Since it is your job to keep me on track, I suppose it's my job to be honest. Which is so not fun...sigh. So here's how Day 1 of Healthy Week went.

Day 1:Yay Me!
Did 1/2 hour of Yoga (hard yoga, too. Ow)
Did leg lifts til I couldn't lift my legs anymore
No booze
A massive amount of fiber (and I do mean massive...46g)
No coffee, just herbal tea

Day 1:Damnit, Pam!
Probably not enough water
Chips (with peach salsa...I swear, it's an addiction)
There was possibly a Sugar Free Klondike bar for dessert, but hello, 4g of fiber? (I'll go with that being half bad)

Not terrible. Not the best, either, but for me, I'm impressed. Yes, that's kind of sad. I don't care.

I'm also impressed that I went to the store and got 4 full meals worth of food (plus breakfast stuff!) and only spent 70 bucks. (Thank you, Cooking Light, for your cheap meal ideas) Last night was Shrimp Fra Diavolo, tonight is a beer braised roast, and I also got stuff for vegetarian enchiladas and chicken piccata. Yum.

The shrimp was good...it wasn't fantastic, but it was good, and really quick. Less than an hour total to prep, cook, eat, and clean up. I pretty much followed the recipe, adding more garlic and more red pepper. Fresh shrimp would have been better, but frozen were cheaper...oh, well. Hubby told me he likes it better with clams, meaning he thought I had made red clam linguine with shrimp. I hadn't even thought of it like that, but he was totally right. Good either way!

Ok. Now back to flushing myself with water. Gym tonight!

Next time I'll make him Pad Thai, I promise.

Ever get stuck with a rather random ingredient and need to find something to use it in? I feel like that's a fairly common occurrence for me, especially since I like using, well, random ingredients. And I have a really bad habit of just kind of ignoring them until they go bad. So I was glad when the husband saw the half full bag of bean sprouts and requested a dinner using them last night.

I know what he really wanted was Pad Thai, but since he didn't specifically ask for that...sorry honey. You got Lemongrass Shrimp Salad instead. Since I based it off a Cooking Light recipe (Lemongrass Shrimp over Rice Vermicelli and Veggies), I'm going to repost theirs and just mark the things I changed.

Honestly, I was hoping it wouldn't take as long as it did to make, but I prepped everything while the shrimp marinated and still had time to sit down with a martini and the new People (damn you Heidi, you train wreck, you). So I can't complain too much. Especially cause it looks pretty impressive. It got a "whoa-oh!" from the hubby. I love that.

Lemongrass Shrimp Salad
Shrimp:
1/3 cup Thai fish sauce
1/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons finely chopped peeled fresh lemongrass (I used the kind in a tube in the produce department)
1 tablespoon canola oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
About a lb Medium shrimp, peeled and deveined

Sauce:
About 1/2 cup fresh lime juice
handful shredded carrot (I bought a bag of them)
1/4 cup sugar
About 3 tbsp Thai fish sauce
3 garlic cloves, minced
Squirt of Sriracha (about a tsp, vary depending on your taste)

Shallot oil:
1/4 cup canola oil
One large thinly sliced shallot

Remaining ingredients:
About 2 oz Bean thread noodles
One chopped head of romaine lettuce, divided
2 large handfuls of fresh bean sprouts, divided
2 large handfuls shredded carrot, divided
1 medium cucumber, halved lengthwise, seeded, and thinly sliced, divided
Cooking spray
handful chopped fresh mint
About 1/4 cup dry-roasted peanuts, finely chopped


To prepare shrimp, combine first 6 ingredients in a large zip-top plastic bag; seal. Marinate in refrigerator 1 hour, turning occasionally. Remove shrimp from bag; discard marinade.

To prepare sauce, combine the lime juice and next 5 ingredients (through sriracha), stirring with a whisk until the sugar dissolves. Set aside.

To prepare shallot oil, heat 1/4 cup oil in a small saucepan over medium heat. Add shallots; cook 5 minutes or until golden brown. Strain the shallot mixture through a sieve over a bowl. Reserve oil. Set fried shallots aside.

To prepare remaining ingredients, place noodles in a large bowl; cover with boiling water. Let stand 10 minutes or til soft. Drain. Combine the noodles, shallot oil, about 3/4 of the lettuce, 3/4 the sprouts, 3/4 the carrot, and 3/4 of the cucumber, tossing well.

To cook shrimp, prepare the grill to medium-high heat. (I used an indoor grill)

Place shrimp on grill rack coated with cooking spray; grill about 3 minutes on each side or until done. Divide the remaining lettuce into bowls. Divide the salad mixture into the bowls over the lettuce; top each serving with shrimp, about 3 tablespoons of sauce, and about 1 tablespoon fried shallots. Serve with remaining, bean sprouts, carrot, cucumber, mint, and peanuts.
Serves four. My calories should be about 50 cals lower (because I use less noodles, and you could lower them more by omitting the shallot oil...it's not really necessary), but their recipe is about 420 cals, 13g fat, 4g fiber, 52g carbs, 26g protein.

I did lunges...that's gotta count for something.

Starting the new year is always a good excuse to get healthier and/or work out more. Theoretically, anyway. I actually used the excuse that the gym would be too crowded with resolutioners for me to go this evening. Sad, but true.

So, with my Cooking Light cookbook (a gift from the Parallel) to give me ideas, I'm getting back on track this week. Baby steps. Gym tomorrow...I swear. Also tomorrow...Veggie Pizza. I'm hoping it'll be as colorful as tonight's dinner. With green beans and baked sweet potato fries, we had vitamins A, C & K-plus up to 10g fiber-all in one tasty little number.


Orange Salmon
Two 6oz salmon fillets
1.5 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp chili powder
1/4 tsp salt
large pinch pepper
zest from one orange
juice from the orange
Olive oil spray for grill

Mix together the spices (sugar through pepper) and the orange rind (it should smell and look yummy).

Rub onto salmon. Pour half of the juice over fish. Grill for about 6 minutes a side or until it flakes easily. Pour remaining juice over cooked fish, serve immediately.
Per fillet, about 300 cals, 6 carbs, .5g fiber, 36g protein

Back to normal. As close as we get, anyway.

Time to get back to cooking.

After being cold for 3 days last week (I'm being dramatic, their house was always toasty), I wanted some summer food...did a little Cooking Light recipe searching and found Thai Cabbage Slaw. Perfect to use up the half head of cabbage in the fridge.

The store was out of red cabbage, and I'm not the biggest bell pepper fan (I like them raw alone or with spinach dip), but I had cucumber, so I substituted there. I also added sriracha instead of chili paste, and added seasoned grilled shrimp on top. But you can leave it off if you want to keep it veggie. I bet it'd be good with a spicy thai tofu soup.

Thai Slaw with Grilled Shrimp
Juice of a fresh lime
3 tbsp rice vinegar
2 tbsp fish sauce
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp limeaid (optional)
1 tsp creamy peanut butter
1 teaspoon sriracha
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 a head of green cabbage, chopped
half a cucumber, halved, seeded, sliced
1 cup carrot, chopped
handful chopped fresh cilantro
2 tbsp chopped dry-roasted peanuts
handful chopped fresh mint

garlic clove, minced
2 tbsp limeaid (or 4 tsp water mixed in 3 tsp lime juice and a dash of brown sugar)
red chili flakes
salt and pepper
1/2 lb. raw shrimp, peeled and deveined (if you don't know what that means, ask the butcher for cleaned, peeled, raw shrimp. Trust me. You don't wanna learn how to do it tonight. It's gross and not fun.

In large bowl, mix together lime through garlic. Add cabbage, cucumber, carrot and cilantro, mix well. Cover and stick in the fridge for an hour. Toss with cilantro, peanuts and mint, serve into bowls.

Heat grill.
In a large ziploc, add together garlic clove through shrimp. Shake well (or use a bowl and mix well if you need to). Quickly skewer shrimp and grill a couple minutes per side or until cooked through. They cook pretty quickly, but metal skewers are always better because they don't burn. If you only have wooden, soak them for at least 10 minutes before you use them.

Serve over slaw.
For an extra large serving spoonful and 3oz shrimp, roughly 285 cals, 6g fat, 9g protein, 6g fiber, 20g carbs

Opinions and other factual things.

With a lonely Sunday afternoon to kill, I like to imagine myself doing all sorts of productive things...reorganizing my spice cabinet, filing 6 months worth of Schwab statements, finally finding a place better than the china cabinet to hang my apron...but in reality, I generally end up on the couch, watching Wedding Central on WE. To be clear, I hate Wedding Central. And yet, like a car wreck, I have a sick draw towards these bitchy, whiny, princess-wannabes intent on planning horrendous ME-ME-ME parties.

But I'm Judge McJudgerson, and it gives me easy prey. Sooo...here I sit, per usual. Watching yet another clueless, horrible bride-to-be. Ladies...you are becoming a wife. Unless you are marrying Prince Harry, you are not becoming a princess. Stop using the word. And seriously, put the tiaras away. Also, it is a big, amazing, very important day, yes. But it is not, contrary to your own opinion, all about you. Perhaps considering your groom's/ bridesmaids'/ families'/ wallet's feelings wouldn't be the absolute worst thing ever. Please grow up and realize you will know/need these people/bank account after you treat them like your minions leading up to one single day.

Man, I love to talk crap. No wonder I watch this shit. And it's no wonder the hubby will watch me watch it; I get to hear myself say ridiculous things aloud to the tv, like, "Psssh, don't lie...you didn't want that, you just waited too long, bee-otch" and, "Niiice, you go crazy about shoes, and you're getting married under a giant glowing exit sign," and "You did not just put a burger king crown on your man's head."

Siigh. Anyway. At the usual lunch spot(Las Salsas), eating the usual(Posole), with the usual(hubby), I decided that if I was going to have another unproductive day, I'd spend it at least trying some new things.

First up? A Starbucks Creme Brulee Latte on the way to the grocery store. Not bad. But nothing special, really. I'd go either way on a repeat offense.

Once I got to the store to pick up some easy dinners for the next few days (then we're off to Seattle for Turkey Day!!), I was beyond thrilled to find King Crab legs for cheap. Like, $7.99/lb cheap. Score. The hubby had requested bacon-wrapped grilled shrimp, and the idea of a seafood extravaganza was too much potential deliciousness to turn down. I love eating with my hands. Love messy food. So cracking into King Crab, freshly steamed and hot, with or without lemon and/or melted butter...omg, the best thing ever. So fun to eat, and just. so. good.

I decided to experiment for a side dish...I had already grabbed pancetta to wrap the prawns in, so I decided to play with that, apple, blue cheese, maybe walnuts, and maybe asparagus. While trying a new drink...Raspberry off-brand vodka(as long as you're mixing, who cares) and light lemonade were both on sale. Yum. Definite repeat offender. At least until I run out of lemonade.

Dessert will also be new...we're sugar-free fudgesicle fans, so I grabbed a multi-pack of regular, dark, and white chocolate. 60 calories of yum. And only 180 cals to try all three. Not that we would do that...

King Crab Legs
King crab legs (however much you think you can eat/fit in the biggest pot you have.)
Butter, about a tsp.
A couple cloves garlic, minced

In the biggest stock pot you have, melt butter over medium heat, then saute garlic til fragrant, about a minute. Add about a cup of water, wait about 2 minutes, then throw all the crab legs in. Cover, lower heat to low, and let the legs steam about 12 minutes. Easy. Serve with lots of napkins and a big bowl for the exoskeleton (or whatever nicer word you want to use). Good with minced garlic mixed with melted butter or lots of lemon to squeeze over.
(220 calories per half pound, 3.5g fat, 42g protein)

Asparagus with Pancetta, Apple and Onion
A bunch of asparagus, trimmed and rinsed
1/2 tbsp butter
Pancetta, chopped (I used about a third of a package)
Half an apple, finely chopped (Pippen is good)
1/4 onion, finely chopped
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1/8 tsp fresh pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
pinch of salt
Balsamic Vinegar
About 3 tbsp reduced fat blue cheese

Boil water in a medium pot. Boil asparagus for 3 minutes, drain and rinse in cold water. Arrange in olive oil sprayed baking dish.

Heat butter over medium heat. Saute pancetta, onion, apple, and garlic about 5 minutes. Add a big splash of balsamic vinegar, walnuts, salt, and pepper. Toss well. Spread over asparagus. Sprinkle with blue cheese. Broil about 4 minutes before serving.

Even the best laid plans...

By about 2pm, I generally know exactly what I'm making for dinner. And because I'm a planner, once I've decided, it's happening. If not, I'm totally thrown off...like, completely. Tears sometimes. Yes, my therapist knows about this. We're working on it.

Anyway. I may be rigid about my plans, but I'm flexible on the execution. Last night, for example, my heart was set on seared scallops and lemon risotto. Got to the store, however, and they were out of sea scallops...which I had a sinking feeling might happen. Sea scallops are like crab legs...when they're on sale, I get them. Otherwise, it may not happen. (This would be an exception to my rule—steamed crab legs will always trump a planned meal.) They had bay scallops, though, so I settled on those instead.

Then, I got home and realized we were out of arborio rice. Damnit! Risotto is doable with regular white rice, but the texture is not nearly as good. But, again, I made do with what I had. Which means the lovely picture I had in my head didn't turn out quite as attractively as I would have hoped. But we still devoured it.

Note: When cooking scallops, open the windows. Our tiny loft apartment allows the smell to spread out nice and evenly enough to surprise you during 3am bathroom trips. Not the nicest thing to wake up to. I should have febreezed the house before I went to bed.



Sauteed Scallops with Lemon Risotto
About a pound of bay scallops
minced garlic (about 3 cloves, divided in half)
sea salt and fresh pepper
olive oil
1/4 to 1/2 yellow onion, chopped
1 cup rice (arborio, if you have it)
1 cup white wine
Low sodium chicken broth (about 2 and a half cups)
chives, chopped (about two handfuls)
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme (I like more rather than less)
Juice of half a lemon (or about two tbsp)

Risotto:
Saute the onion and garlic in a bit of olive oil (half a tablespoon or so) for a couple minutes at medium high, then add rice. Mix well, and stir frequently for a couple more minutes. Add the wine. Stir frequently until wine is almost absorbed, then add about a half cup of broth. Stir occasionally til it's mostly absorbed, then repeat with the rest of the broth or until the rice is tender with a tiny bit of bite to it. Use as much broth as you need. (This is why arborio is good...regular rice tends to get a bit mushier.) Once the rice is a good texture, stir til all liquid is absorbed, then turn off the heat and stir in the lemon juice, thyme, and chives. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serves four.
About 240 cals, 4g fat, 40g carbs, 1g fiber, 6g protein

Scallops:
Rinse, drain, then pat dry. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Saute half the garlic in about a half tbsp of olive oil, then add the scallops. Over medium high heat, saute until no longer pink, about 4 or 5 minutes. Don't overcook or they get kind of rubbery. Sprinkle a little bit of the chives over them.
Per four oz of scallops, about 115 cals, 5g fat, 3g carbs, 17g protein

It's especially good on Sundays.

Lots and lots of people are football fans. I'm...not. My dad never watched it (which partially may have to do with him being the only male in the house...he likes to say the house was composed of three chiefs and one Indian. My dad's a saint.) and most of the old boyfriends weren't big fans, so I wasn't ever really exposed to it.

The husband, however, is another story. So I'm trying. After five years of watching football all Sunday, and three years of working six hours every Saturday as the clock operator for a youth football league, I'm starting to understand some of the rules. The point, however, still escapes me.

The husband isn't Mr. Football with the Guys, fortunately, but he still wants to watch. All. Day. Long. So we made a deal long ago that since Sunday is the only full day we get to hang out together, I'd suck it up and watch football with him as long as we could do it somewhere I was also entertained. I'm easy in that regard...I need food, and I need drinks. So whether we go to brunch at El Portal (cheapest, best Mexican champagne brunch this side of town) or hang at home, I get to do my three favorite things—eat, drink, and hang with the hubby.

Here's what I like about watching football at home: I don't have to wear shoes, I never have to wait for the bathroom, I can drink free Bloody Marys*, and I can entertain myself by making appetizers, Campechana being the choice for today.

After discovering Campechana (seafood cocktail) at our favorite hole-in-the-wall Mexican place, I'm obsessed with it, and I was determined to figure out the recipe. I finally got it right—the only thing that makes it different, as far as we can tell, is that they use octopus, and I use crab. Yes, I take the easy route. I'm just not that dedicated, I guess. It still tastes fantastic.

It's awesome with a spoon, a beer, and side of blue corn tortilla chips. Makes about 6 servings.


Campechana
BTW, I'm an eyeball cook...please don't expect exact measurements from me...

1/2 package artificial crab, chopped roughly and separated
3/4 pound cooked shrimp, chopped roughly (whole bay shrimp work, too)
1 tomato, chopped
1/2 of a cucumber, peeled and chopped
1/4 of a red onion, chopped fairly fine
2 large stalks of celery, chopped
One avocado, chopped (squeeze some lime over it if you can)
Big handful of cilantro, chopped
Spicy Clamato juice (or add a tablespoon of hotsauce-Tapatio is great-to regular Clamato.)
Slices of lime or lemon

Combine everything through cilantro in a big bowl. Add enough Clamato to cover plus a bit, so it's just a bit soupy. Add citrus to taste. Can be served at room temp or chilled.
About 135 calories a serving, 8g fat, 1.5g fiber, 14g carbs, 13g protein

*I can't take credit for this one, but it serves as my Bloody Mary muse. I sipped on this one at The Rooftop bar in Laguna Beach, CA.