I'm the hyperbole queen.

I may have stumbled across today's best thing ever.

I never was taught how to diagram a sentence, but I know when something's wrong with it. Blogging doesn't count. This-and often at work when I'm writing copy-is where I can write conversationally. Incorrect, formally speaking? Usually. More entertaining? I hope so. I know better. I just choose to write how I think. But I still get tripped up on things, and that's where Google comes in. And that is how, following a lead to check my grammar on something, I found my new favorite blog.

Why? Cause it was made for me. Just read this paragraph I found:

"P.S. You may find it amusing to know that I, like David Ogilvy, have never learned the formal rules of grammar. I learned to write by reading obsessively at an early age, but when it came time to learn the “rules,” I tuned out. If you show me an incorrect sentence, I can fix it, but if I need to know the technical reason why it was wrong in the first place, I go ask my wife."

Me. Too. Just replace "wife" with "mom" or "google," add a couple years of formal writing classes in college, and that's me (sort-of?). And I'm a big fan of some english spellings and punctuation, so I use all lot of those..hmm. Also a fan of sharing the left field thoughts that come out of my head. You're welcome.

http://www.copyblogger.com/

Leftover Cranberries?

Take a hint from the pro*. Freeze them. And then drink them.

Cranberry Margaritas
Blend:
Frozen cranberries, about a cup or more
About a cup orange juice
3-4 oz tequila
1-2 cups ice cubes
1/4c sugar, or to taste
dash vanilla
dash cinnamon

*I am not claiming to be a pro in the culinary sense. I am, however, an undisputed pro at drinking.

White or Dark?

I was the only one who wanted a turkey this year, so we compromised on prime rib and cornish game hens. Which, it turned out, everyone loved. I'm glad we made two. As for the prime rib, let's just say 6 pounds was a bit more than 4 people could eat, even over the course of 3 days.

Hens usually come frozen, so make sure and give yourself enough time to defrost before you cook them, either in the fridge for a day or two, or for a few hours in a sink full of cool water. Or both.

Prime Rib
Prime Rib, any size, with string still tied
Sage, about 3 tsp
Thyme, about 3 tsp
Salt and Pepper, about 1 tsp each
Garlic salt, about 1 tsp

Mix all the spices together and then rub all over meat. Let sit in fridge in roast pan, bone side down, until ready to bake.

Preheat oven to 400, then put meat in oven. Reduce heat to 350, and cook for about 15 minutes a pound for medium rare, which prime-rib really should be. Let rest about 10 minutes before cutting string and slicing. (Excellent job for husbands/men/meat-lovers)


Cornish Game Hens

Two defrosted Game Hens
Sage, about 2 tsp
Thyme, about 2 tsp
Salt and Pepper, about 1 tsp each

Cornbread stuffing, optional

Rinse the birds, make sure the cavities are empty (sometimes the...insides...are in a baggy. Throw away immediately. Or cook, if you're into things like hearts. Buh.) Dry a bit with paper towels. Mix the spices together, and rub over birds and insides. Stuff loosely with stuffing if you'd like.

Cook breast side up, loosely covered in foil, in a baking dish or roast pan for 45 minutes, then remove foil and cook an additional 30 minutes. The legs should feel loose when they're done. If you have a meat thermometer, make sure it's about 160. Let sit for at least 15 minutes before cutting.

Yes, I used gluten-free Cornbread mix

I found a recipe for apple chicken-sausage cornbread stuffing a few years back, and have no idea where. But it's easy to recreate. And super yum. I get a lot of requests for this one.

Cornbread Stuffing
A pan cornbread, fresh or store bought, left out overnight to harden up.
1 package chicken apple sausages, pre-cooked (or raw, if that's all they have)*
Half an apple (Fugi, Granny Smith or similar), diced
Half an onion, diced
3 celery stalks, diced
Olive oil
Chicken broth, about a cup
Ground Sage, about a tsp
Ground Thyme, about a tsp
Salt and Pepper, half tsp each or so

*If the sausages are not pre-cooked, remove the skins by slicing down the center of each and kind of just emptying the innards into a skillet. It's kinda gross. (Which is why I try and buy pre-cooked.) Brown the sausage until cooked through, and discard the grease. If you found pre-cooked, just half each sausage longways and then chop before browning.

Crumble the cornbread. If it's too soft, stick the big crumbles in the oven at 250 for about 15 minutes to toast them up. Put in large bowl.

Brown or cook the sausage in a tad of olive oil. Add onion, celery, and apple. Saute about 5 minutes or until everything is a bit softened. Remove from heat and let cool a couple minutes before you add it to the cornbread. Add the spices and about a half cup broth. Mix gently. If it seems dry, add a bit more broth at a time. It shouldn't be wet, just a bit damp. Pour into greased baking dish, bake at 350 about 40 minutes. Cover it with foil half way through to make sure it doesn't burn on top.

This made more than what fit in the baking dish (don't pack it in there), so I stuffed the birds with the rest. Works great either way.

Not too tart, not too sweet...

A lot of people don't like cranberry sauce, but I think that's cause they've never had fresh. The husband lu-uh-uhves it, so it's a necessity on our holiday table. And it's surprisingly easy. It's awesome on ice cream, too.

Cranberry Sauce
2 cups fresh cranberries (freeze the remaining cranberries for later)
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup sugar
dash cinnamon
dash vanilla

Over medium heat, cook all ingredients, stirring frequently. After a few minutes, the cranberries start popping open. Continue cooking until well blended and saucy, about 5 minutes. Serve hot, warm, cold, or anything in between.

Dessert's the best part anyway.

Roma's Pecan Pie*
1 cup Karo® Syrup
3 eggs
1 cup sugar
2 tablespoons butter, melted
1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
6 oz bag of pecans (chop roughly)
1 unbaked 9-inch deep dish pie crust (you can get the frozen or refrigerated kinds)

Mix syrup through pecans. Pour into pie crust. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Quickly cover exposed pie crust with strips of aluminum foil (so they don't overbrown), and let bake for another 40 minutes. Let cool at least 2 hours.

*This is my grandma's prize-winning pecan pie. Which she stole from the back of the Karo syrup bottle. Awesome. I added a hint more vanilla, cause I love it, and I may have added a dash of cinnamon...I don't remember. But I was throwing cinnamon in everything this weekend, so I suspect so. Oh, and I substituted Karo Lite syrup. And no one knew. Shhh.

Thanksgiving Extravaganza

Well, we made it back safe and sound from Washington, where we got to spend 3 days bundled up in gorgeous North Bend at our best friends' house. The husbands got to spend some quality time with the XBox, annihilating zombies, while Mrs. B and I were total girls, cooking and chatting and reading trash mags. Which was exactly what how we wanted to spend our Thanksgiving vacation.

But Thanksgiving, as we know, is about food and drink. And we definitely had that. One of the best reasons to fly is that you don't have to drive, obviously, which is helpful when you like to drink. Which in turn, is helpful when you have 2 hours to kill at LAX. Word to the wise, however, ask how much the mixed drinks cost before you get a second round. Ouch.

Luckily they're cheaper on the plane. And, as it turns out, Alaska offers Jone's sugar free cream soda, which mixes up quite nicely with vodka...yum.

After lunch at Taphouse, we got settled at their house, and I got to work taking over their kitchen. Cornbread stuffing kinda needs cornbread, and it has to dry out overnight, so...I had no choice but to jump right in. And while I was at it, I baked the potatoes for the twice stuffed. And made a pecan pie. I'm kind of amazing, it's true.

The next morning, after waking up to my favorite nephew covering us in Labrador kisses (mom was sweet and didn't let him in til 10am), we went to work. Here's how it went:

Had a Mimosa. First things first.
Crumbled and prepped the cornbread.
Cleaned the birds, which wasn't as easy as I thought, as I promptly discovered they had necks. Ummm, not ok. So I recruited the husband to chop them off for me (I literally and figuratively just.couldn't.do.it).
Rubbed and stuffed the birds and threw them in the oven.
Rubbed the Prime Rib.

Drank Mimosa.

Prepped the twice baked potatoes and green bean casserole.
Made the cranberry sauce.

Drank Mimosa.

Took out the bird, put in the ribs.

Drank Mimosa.


Added cornbread, potatoes, and green beans to the oven.
Steamed the broccoli, made the cheese sauce, set the table.
Took everything out, and baked the rolls (we brought basque sourdough dinner rolls from Pyrenees Bakery. I totally had one.)

Whew. Though I'm more tired writing all this than I was cooking it.


Thanksgiving dinner is totally doable...you just have to plan ahead. So here you go—Thanksgiving recipes for 2010. Better early than late...better late than never. I'm going with very, very early...fashionably late is so 2001. I'm going to post them separately to make things easier all around.

You'll notice I'm not giving the recipes for the twice-baked potatoes, cause it's just baked potatoes, cooled, halved, then the insides are removed, mixed together to make everything potatoes, refilled, and baked for 35 minutes. Same with Green Bean Casserole (You can find it on the back of the French's fried onions or the Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup cans), but since I'd never made it before, I'll point out that we used reduced fat soup and it was delicious.

Enjoy!

Helen Keller is my favorite musical.

I'm not the biggest holiday person. Ok, that's an understatement. I'm kind of known as the Grinch...and fairly, I have to say. I cringed last week when I heard Christmas music (um, it's not even Thanksgiving yet), and I don't like to decorate. It took the hubby and I three years of living together to finally cave and buy a tree.

But I do like to host. Or, cook, at least. It may have started when my parents went on an anniversary cruise and left my sister and I responsible for prepping Christmas dinner one year. I don't know if it's a sense of accomplishment, or bragging rights, or a bit of a challenge, but I love to be responsible for a big meal. So since my mom left a note on my facebook (heee, facebook. I love my mama) saying she wanted another meal, I've been gunning to be in charge of Christmas.

But in the meantime, it's Thanksgiving. And we have three families to please. And while we truly have fabulous families, we decided to bypass playing the normal holiday shuffle and skip it all to do Turkey Day with our best friends instead. In North Bend, WA, where it will be cold. Very cold. Which I'm hoping will freeze some of my grinchness.

Plus, my best friend likes cooking but likes being cooked for more, so she's letting me take the reins. Here's the menu:

Prime Rib (They aren't poultry fans)
Cornish Game Hen (but I am)
Green Bean Casserole (the old school kind)
Cranberry Sauce (homemade...it's the only thing my hubby has to have)
Twice-baked Potatoes
Cornbread apple-sausage stuffing (omg, my fave)
Broccoli with cheese sauce
Pecan Pie (homemade, thank you)
Either Apple Pie or Cheesecake (whichever looks better at their local Bakery)

Yeah, there are only four people eating. And? We'll be there 3 days. Leftovers work for all of us. Although we're planning on seeing the Bodies Exhibit on Friday, so who knows how much we'll want to eat after that...

Ridiculous. Photos and reviews to come. Gobble Gobble!

Tuesday night done right.

I have to admit, I do love a good easy-dinner night. Especially when you're trying to save money, so you skip the nail salon and give yourself a manicure. Twice, because you paint nails like a five year old. And then decide to peel zucchini before the paint has dried completely. And curse until you realize this is why you pay for them.

Frustrating. But I discovered a quick trick for cheering myself up...using fancy dinnerware. We got the most gorgeous set of wooden serving spoons as a wedding gift, and I always want to save them for guests or a special occasion. And then I had a revelation tonight while I was hissing at my nails...if I save them for special occasions, I never get to use them. Nothing ever becomes sponge-worthy.

So I used them to make my caesar. Immediate seratonin rush. Plus, I think it's what inspired the hubby to set our places with cloth napkins instead of paper towels. We're fancy.

All I made was a modified version of my zucchini ribbons (added reduced fat blue cheese crumbles, added a dash of balsalmic, and cut the parmesan in half), the husband grilled up some steaks, and I made a caesar. Out of a bag. And it all was good.


And now I'm gonna get back to the Laker game, eat a whole lot of sugar-free jello (10 cals a bowl!), and finish packing for Seattle. We're determined not to check anything. Wish us luck.

Flava-Flav!

It's difficult to prepare Indian curry when one is out of curry powder. And, it turns out, is also incredibly annoying...especially when it happens the day after you and the hubby leave it off the shopping list because you are both convinced there is plenty at home.

We did, however, have Thai red curry paste. Which, if you aren't a curry connoisseur, is not the same as regular curry. Indian curry is normally a more pungent flavor...darker, bitter-er, stronger. Thai curry is generally sweeter, mellower, and spicier. The hubby likes Indian. I prefer Thai...which suits us a bit, the more I think about it. Though we share far more of those traits than we don't.

And if the hubby and I can each have lots of the others' flavor (that sounds far naughtier than I mean it to), so can our curry. So I took the Thai base and added some Indian and Mid-Eastern flavors to it. And I can't complain (we'll see what hubby has to say when he gets home). I may have added too much Sriracha to mine, but a dollop of light sour cream...well, it does amazing things. Curry without a Country
Canola Oil
4 tbsp Thai red curry paste
1 can light coconut milk
Chicken Breast, about a pound, cubed or sliced
5 cloves garlic, minced
1 yellow or brown onion, chopped
8 baby/fingerling potatoes, cubed
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp cardamom
dash all spice
1 tbsp turmeric
1 tsp salt
1 tbsp fresh ginger, minced (1 -2 tsps if dried)
cilantro, sriracha and fresh lime to serve

Heat a splash of oil in large stock pot over medium high. Saute garlic about a minute, then add onion. Saute another 2 to 3 minutes. Add chicken and saute about 5 minutes or until chicken is mostly white. Stir in all the seasonings (I mix them together first). Add coconut milk. Bring to a simmer, stir in potatoes. Return to simmer, reduce to low, cover, and let cook about 12 minutes or until potatoes are done. (Don't overcook them like I usually manage to.)

Serve over white or basmati rice with a sprinkle of cilantro, a lime slice if you have it
Serves four. Without rice, about 315 calories, 13g fat, 2g fiber, 19g carbs, 31g protein