It should not be this hard.

I have a handful of foods that I just can't master handle even begin to not utterly fuck up. And they're basic, too. Bacon, for example. Either completely burned or completely uncooked. I can't flip fried eggs to save my life. (Actually, breakfast foods in general tend to get the best of me).

Lasagna is another. It should be simple—sauce, pasta, filling, cheese, sauce, repeat, repeat, repeat. But for whatever reason, I can't deal with it. It's either too wet and falls apart, or I don't put enough sauce and it's dry and blech. I just...I can't do it, I don't know.

Anyway, that was just a tangent. What I intended to start with was that my little food processor has had quite the workout today.

I'm making all of E's food, so I figured I'd try and get a head start on the next week...so with the help of the processor and some new ice cube trays, I'm now stocked up on peas, carrots, green beans, and sweet potatoes. (We're also very slowly moving through banana and avocado. Peas we love, sweet potatoes we love. Feet kicking, baby-bird mouth wide open, spoon grabbing L-O-V-E...avocado, on the other hand, gets a clamped lip. Will. Not. Eat. Cracks me up.)

But I also came across a recipe on Pinterest for a Veggie Pesto Lasagna that looked delish, so the first step was making some pesto. A little birdie (the internet) told me that the best pesto is a bit coarser than the store bought mush you generally find (and I usually make), but instead of chopping by hand (please), I just added a bit lot less olive oil and pulsed a bunch of times until it was nice and coarse.

Pesto
It's not real scientific here:
A handful of pinenuts
A whole bunch of basil (maybe 2 cups? more?)
4 cloves of garlic, roughly sliced
About 1/2 cup parmesan cheese
Sea Salt (a good pinch)
Olive oil (2 tbsp or so)

Combine all in food processor. Use accordingly.

Accordingly, in this case, is about 1/3 of a cup, so I have a ton left. I'll figure something out. But holy hell, my lasagna finally turned out. Even though I had to use cottage cheese instead of ricotta (don't ask why I was doing my cheese shopping at Target)...it totally worked.

Veggie Pesto Lasagna
12 no-cook lasagna noodles
1 jar marinara (I used a tomato basil)
2 cups cottage cheese
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
1/3 cup pesto
Thyme (about a tsp)
Oregano (about a tsp)
Sea salt
Fresh mozzarella, torn into small pieces
Olive oil
1/2 onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 cup shredded zucchini
Chili flakes to taste (I used a 1/2 tsp or so)

1 package baby spinach

Preheat oven to 375.

Saute garlic, onion and zucchini until soft. Add chili flakes, and gradually add spinach until wilted. Remove from heat.

In large bowl, combine cottage (or ricotta) with the parmesan, pesto, thyme, oregano, and salt.

Coat baking dish (I used a 9x13) lightly with cooking spray. Pour enough sauce to very thinly cover the bottom (1/2 cup or so). Arrange 4 noodles to cover (break off the corners if you need them to fit better). Spread half of the cheese mixture across the noodles (make sure and cover them all to make sure they cook well), then half the spinach mixture across the cheese. Arrange half of the mozzarella across. Top with 4 more noodles, and pour half of the remaining sauce. Repeat with remaining cheese, spinach, and mozzarella. Top with remaining 4 noodles and the rest of the sauce.

Bake for about 40 minutes, covered lightly with foil.

6-10 servings, depending on how you cut it.

Man-made meatballs

Meatballs should taste like meat. Or so says Esquire magazine, anyway. And that said, their Eat Like a Man recipe this month does not disappoint. Hubby was reading the latest issue in bed the other night, and it was all he could do to not get up and start cooking right that second. (Which I would have been ok with. Spaghetti and meatballs are always welcome right now.)

The two days we ended up waiting were well worth it, however. It was absolutely fantastic—totally restaurant quality, totally time consuming, and totally appreciated. All I had to do was run to the store for him, eat and do some dishes (and not even that many! He cleaned as he went! He's learning!!). Well, and not think about how many calories are in these suckers. Bacon and olive oil are kind of in excess here...

There were some changes, of course...veal is not allowed in our house (yep, I pull that card), so that went out the window. We also wanted to use pancetta, but it was $6 per 3oz, and bacon was $6 for 16oz. So, yeah. Oh, and we did half in the toaster oven and half on the stovetop...the stovetop set ended up having a thicker sauce, but that seemed to be the only real difference.

So here you go. The man's awesome, total fat-kid, meat-heavy meatballs and sauce. It makes a ton. Make it on a night you have a handful of hungry dudes to feed.

Basic Tomato Sauce (also from Esquire)
4 28oz cans good quality whole tomatoes
6-8 garlic cloves, crushed
olive oil
a few basil leaves

Pour tomatoes and their juice in a huge bowl and squish/crush tomatoes by hand (or use a potato masher, if that's more your bag)

Heat about a half cup olive oil in large-enough sauce pan, and add garlic. Let cook until they sizzle but don't brown, a couple of minutes. Add about a third of the tomatoes at a time, letting them come to a simmer before adding more.

Lower heat, tear some basil leaves (4 or 5 big ones), and throw them in. Cook at a low simmer for about 45 minutes.

Meatballs
1 lb ground beef (85 percent lean/15 percent fat)
1 lb ground pork (as lean as you can get)
About 2/3 a package of thick-sliced smoky bacon, finely minced
2 whole eggs
1/3 cup finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
1/2 cup finely diced yellow onion
8 garlic cloves, minced
2 tbsp finely chopped flat-leaf parsley
2 tsp dried oregano
2 tsp dried rosemary

Combine above ingredients and mix well with your hands. Just do it.

1/3 cup bread crumbs (we used seasoned)
1/4 cup 1% milk
1 heaping tsp coarse sea salt
1.5 tsp fresh ground black pepper

Slowly add milk to bread crumbs, stirring until the mixture has the consistency of wet sand. Add S&P, and add to the meat mixture, mixing well. It'll be super sticky at this point-it's ok. Refrigerate the meat mixture for about 30 minutes.

canola oil for browning
your tomato sauce (above), kept warm over low heat
finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano, for serving

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Shape meatballs into roughly 2 inch balls, shaping with your hands. In a large skillet, heat about a quarter-inch canola oil until very hot. Working in batches, brown all sides of each meatball ( a couple minutes a 'side').

As they finish, transfer browned meatballs to a deep, ovenproof dish. Cover meatballs with tomato sauce. (Totally submerged, if possible) Bake until done, an hour or more. They should feel firm to the touch.

If you're going the stove top route, place browned meatballs in large skillet or dutch oven—two if necessary, you don't want to overcrowd them—and cover with the sauce. Bring to a simmer, reduce heat, and cook, partially covered, about an hour.

Serve alone or over a bit of pasta.

Or you can just be lazy and open a bottle of Barilla.

I'm a big fan of meat sauce. You saute up some ground meat, add a bottle of marinara, and boom. Meat sauce.

Orrrr you can spend an extra 10 minutes and do it from "scratch." I'm pretty sure I'm in competition for The Laziest Preggo on the Planet this week, but I still peeled myself off the couch and away from the TiVo long enough to chop a couple things.*

*I totally cheated and used the Chop Wizard. Much like the infomercials, it is ridiculous. It is also awesome, and luckily I have a mother who enjoys buying me As Seen on TV products. Also, for the sake of full disclosure, I am being overly dramatic and totally worked out for half an hour after work, so I'm not quite as lazy as I complain that I am.

I even made a salad. Although, by "making a salad," I really mean taking the walnut and raspberry leftover salad from the night before and adding an extra handful of greens.

It's a little sad how much the small things impress me right now. Anyway, here is Giada's Bolognese, modified just a bit. (And see? When you make it from scratch, you can give it a fancy name like Bolognese, which sounds so much more legit than "meat sauce," yeah?)

Easy Bolognese
Olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 carrot (or handful of baby carrots) chopped
1 celery stalk, chopped
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 package (around 20oz) lean ground pork (or beef or turkey)
1/2 cup red wine
Large can crushed tomatoes
1 bay leaf
1/2 tsp oregano
Small handful chopped basil
Small handful chopped Italian parsley (opt.)
S & P
Shredded Romano or Parmesan

Heat a pour of oil (1-2 tbsp) over medium-high heat. Add onion, and saute for 5 minutes. Add carrot, celery and onion, and saute an additional 5 minutes. Add meat, and continue cooking until cooked through, about 8 minutes, moving often and breaking up into small pieces.

Stir in red wine and cook for another minute or two. Add tomatoes, bay leaf, oregano, basil and parsley, if using. Combine well, adding a bit more wine if it seems really thick. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low.

Cook over low heat for 20-30 minutes or until sauce has thickened back up. Add a good pinch each of salt and fresh pepper, tasting to make sure the salt is right.

Serve over hot cooked pasta and top with shredded cheese.

Don't piss me off. I do it well enough on my own.

I am not what you might call 'graceful.' In the past six months or so, I've punctured my scalp on the medicine cabinet, had X-rays taken after landing chin first in a midnight fall, fallen teeth-first into my towel rack, and stubbed more toes than I can possibly remember. Within the first three months at my agency, I ended up at Urgent Care twice with Exacto blade-inflicted wounds (one resulting in a now permanently numb fingertip and a note in my medical file immortalizing my "self-inflicted stab wound"). I'm like a walking worker's comp suit.

Tonight was, of course, no different. Granted, it was only me slamming the back of my head on the bottom of the freezer door as I was digging around the fridge for the asparagus, but the resulting headache, mixed with Ramona's fondness for bitching nonstop at the back door about the sad state of her spoiled indoor cat life (You wanna live outside, Cat? Really? Really??) just pissed me off tonight.

Apparently, Hubby had somehow foreseen this evening's events, and requested pasta with Arrabiata ("Angry" in Italian) sauce. Luckily for him, he didn't piss me off, Arrabiata sauce is easy (even though it's made basically from scratch), and I really needed some recipes this week that will help use up the red Fresno chiles that are growing like crazy right now before that starts annoying me too. (They're right next to our tomatoes, which are NOT producing, but that's a complaint for another day)

If you don't have fresh chiles, and don't feel like buying them (why?) then just use a tsp or so of dried red chile flakes. Or enough to make the sauce angry. And if you want, just buy a can of crushed tomatoes. Hubby had the gall to ask why I hadn't done just that as he watched me stick my (clean) hand in the can to squeeze the whole tomatoes, but dammit it was fun and made me feel better.


Pasta with Arrabiata Sauce
Olive oil (less than a tbsp)
3 large garlic cloves, smashed (I used the back of a wooden spoon)
One brown onion, diced
2 red chiles, finely chopped
Half a carrot, shredded with a cheese grater (or about 6 baby carrots, but a regular one would have been easier and saved my fingers)
1 tsp dried thyme (or 2-3 tsp fresh)
1 large can whole tomatoes
salt to taste
1 package fresh linguine or other pasta
Freshly shredded Romano or Parmesan cheese, to top

In large stock pot, heat oil over medium high heat. Add garlic, and stir often for about a minute. Add onion and chiles, and cook, stirring often, about 5 minutes. Add carrot and thyme, and cook another 3 minutes or so.

Open the can of tomatoes and pour the liquid into the onion mixture. Make sure your hands are clean, then stick one in the can and get to squeezing. They should be soft enough to kind of explode on impact, so just squeeze until you don't feel any big chunks left. Add tomatoes to sauce, stir, and bring to a boil.

Once it starts boiling, reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for about a half hour or until it's thickened up and doesn't seem very liquidy (wet?). You can cook it longer if you want; it's going to be edible right away, so don't worry too much about the timing here. Add a bit of salt to taste—probably about 1/2 tsp or so.

When it's just about done, bring a large pot of water (add a good pinch of salt) to a boil, then cook the pasta 2-4 minutes or according to the package's directions. Drain, but don't rinse, then add the pasta to the sauce. Toss pasta and sauce gently, then serve with a sprinkle of cheese on top. And some parsley if you want to be fancy.

(I served with trimmed asparagus that was coated with cooking spray, drizzled with balsamic and sea salt, then roasted in the oven about 12 minutes at 400)

If he can't handle turning on the oven, he's basically worthless.

I'm leaving the hubby all by his lonesome next week, as I'm off to Buffalo to play with the parallel and her brand new bubba for a few days. Um, and according to the forecast, just in time.


I really don't worry about him when I'm out of town...he's a big boy—he knows his way around a kitchen. And if he's lazy, I know he'll be just fine with a bowl of frosted mini-wheats for dinner. But since he's going to have to deal with all the cat-related fun I normally take care of, I figured I'd be Nice Wife and make him something that he can just pop in the oven one night and pick at for a few days. Or take with to a 4th of July potluck. Or give to the cats...Whatever, I don't care, as long as it gets eaten.

Plus it was good practice-I'm planning on making a few dude-friendly freeze-and-bake meals for my girl and her hubby...with a 4 week old, I'm guessing they aren't doing a whole lot of cooking. I'm not going to attempt Italian in their kitchen, but the hubby will let me get away with not-quite-authentic here.


Cheese, Basil and Sausage Stuffed Shells
Dash of olive oil
1 red onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1 pre-cooked Italian-seasoned chicken sausage link, diced (use 2 if you want it meatier)
1 regular sized container of low-fat ricotta
2 cups shredded mixed Italian cheese (2% or part skim if possible)
1 egg
salt & pepper
dash of nutmeg
small handful chopped parsley
large handful chopped basil (about 1/4 cup or so)
Package of large pasta shells (or manicotti shells, either will work), cooked according to package directions
1 bottle of marinara

Preheat oven to 375.

While your pasta cooks (if you haven't done that yet), saute the onion, garlic and sausage in a little bit of oil for about 5 minutes or until the onion is a little transparent. Let cool. In large bowl, combine ricotta, 1.5 cups of shredded cheese, egg, nutmeg, a good pinch each of salt and pepper, parsley and basil. Stir in onion mixture.

Coat a large baking pan with cooking spray. Spread about a half cup of marinara across the bottom. When pasta is done, drain well, and fill each shell with a big spoonful of cheese mix, and place each stuffed shell cheese side up in cooking pan. When you've used up all the mixture (or you run out of room—either way, you may have a handful of shells left over), pour over remaining pasta sauce, spreading gently with a wooden spoon. Sprinkle with the remaining shredded cheese.

Cover loosely with foil, and bake about 30 minutes. Remove foil and cook another 10 minutes or until cheese and melted and sauce is bubbly.

I'm in love...

with my new favorite toy, a shiny, speedy, sinfully delicious 15in Mac BookPro. Best part? It's wireless. Yes, I understand all laptops are...unless you have been putting off buying a new battery and have been attached to the wall for the past year. Anyway...yuh-uh-umm. It's so purdy.

As hard as it was, I tore myself away from playing long enough to make and feed myself eggplant parm. (side note: I LOVE my toaster oven...I totally used it for this.) I used this cooking light recipe, with some minor changes...made half a recipe, so I just did one layer of eggplant, topped with sauce, the cheese mix, more sauce, then torn fresh pieces of small mozzarella balls (an oz or so) and 2 provolone slices. Baked for 45 minutes total, but it could cook a bit longer. Served with chicken-broth cooked rice.
Also yum.


Oh, and I think I've mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating...after you slice the eggplant, sprinkle both sides with salt, layer between paper towels, let sit 5 to 10 minutes, then rinse before using. It makes them less bitter.

Clammy, in a good way

I really, really love clam linguine. It's easy, it's quick, and it goes well with wine. So, hello, I'm all for it.

You could use fresh clams, if you were so inclined, but, um, I'm not. I'm poor. And impatient, so...I go with the canned ones. They totally work just fine.


Clam Linguine
2 servings cooked pasta (linguine/spaghetti/whatever)
olive oil
3-6 cloves chopped garlic, more or less depending on your preference
1 can whole baby clams, undrained
1 can chopped clams, undrained
1/3 cup or so of white wine
red chili flakes
salt and pepper
Handful chopped parsley
Splash of milk or half and half
Half a lemon plus slices
Fresh grated parmesan or romano cheese

Heat a bit of olive oil in large skillet, then saute garlic over medium for a couple minutes. Drain the clam liquid into skillet, saving clams. Add wine, a good shake of red pepper (to taste), and a good pinch each salt and pepper.

Bring to a low boil, let cook about 4 minutes. Add clam pieces. Let cook another couple minutes, then add pasta, parsley, milk, and juice from the half lemon. Mix well, cook about 2 minutes. Serve hot with cheese and a lemon slice.

Lasagna, pig style.

A few years ago, back when we had just started living together, Hubby-then-boyfriend decided to buy a pig. Well, a third of a pig, to be exact. This was at the tale-end (tail-end?) of my semi-vegetarianism, so this was absolutely not my idea—I'm pretty sure the convo went something like this:

Boyfriend: So, my dad wants to buy a pig from the fair this year, and I think we should go in on it with him.
Pammy: ...like...to eat?
BF: well, yeah. We'd split it with him and a friend.
Pammy: ...you'd split it. You do realize I don't eat pig...
BF: Oh, you'll eat this. Fresh pork is different...
Pammy: (roll-eyed smell-poo face)

He was right, of course, I ate it—but it wasn't for the taste...it was out of absolute necessity, seeing that a third of a pig is approximately 6 million pounds of meat. In my freezer. Leaving zero room for ANYTHING else.

It's...interesting. You pick a pig, they load it on a truck, and it comes back to you in about 68 wrapped parcels, with everything from chops to sausage (plain and Italian seasoned!) to bacon to ribs to rump roasts. So we got creative looking for ways to get me to eat some. (He ate most of it like some sort of caveman, but I still had to help.) And I still don't love pig, let's be clear here. But I'll eat pork chops now, and I do have him and that damn pig to thank/blame for that.

The point, however, is that the best creation was the Italian sausage and veggie lasagna we came up with one night. Seriously, it's fantastic. And it popped into my head for some reason when my girlfriend Dr. N. (our first official Docta in the 'family'!) asked me to show her how to cook something new this weekend.

I think she was surprised by how easy this was...yeah, it takes a little while to cook and to sit, but that's the most time consuming part. If you want to substitute ground Italian-seasoned turkey or plain sausage, go for it. We also used the no-cook lasagna noodles from Trader Joe's, which saved us from having to wash another pot. If you don't have those, cook lasagna noodles according to package directions-you'll want them a little undercooked so they don't get too soggy.

Oh, and hubby made the sauce. Lucky us! (and lucky you, cause he told me what he put in-recipe for that is below)



Sausage & Veggie Lasagna
1 package spicy Italian sausage, casings removed (about 6 sausages)
1 package sliced mushrooms (I used brown)
1 package frozen artichoke hearts
About a half cup frozen chopped spinach
One tub low-fat ricotta cheese
1 egg
nutmeg
S&P
1 package pre-shredded low-fat mozzarella (2 cups)
Prepared lasagna noodles
Hubby's Marinara (or about 6 cups of store bought)
Parsley and/or Parmesan, to top

Brown the sausage over medium high heat, breaking into chunks/pieces as you cook it. When it's close to cooked through, drain out the fat, and add the mushrooms. Cook a couple of minutes, then add the artichokes. When all is cooked through (about 5-10 minutes), remove from heat.

In a bowl, combine ricotta, egg, a dash of nutmeg, and some salt and pepper (is it too Rachael Ray to say S&P?). Add mozzarella, mix well.

In casserole dish, cover bottom with thin layer of sauce. Fit noodles across in a layer, overlapping if you need to to cover. Spread about 1/3 of the sausage mix across noodles. Spread 1/3 cheese mixture across that. Add another layer of noodles, then a layer of sauce. Repeat til gone-the layers should be*(bottom to top):
sauce
noodles
meat
cheese
noodles
sauce
meat
cheese
noodles
sauce
meat
cheese
noodles
sauce
(*If it doesn't work out exactly, or you switch it up, it really doesn't matter. Don't stress about it)

If you use the no-bake noodles, let the thing sit at this point for about 20 minutes before continuing.

Cook at about 375-400 degrees for 35-40 minutes or until bubbly. Let sit about 15 minutes to cool before serving. Top with parsley or cheese.


Hubby's Marinara
This is still better when he makes it.

Olive oil
One onion, chopped
6 garlic cloves, minced
Large jar of plain marinara sauce
1 can tomato sauce
oregano to taste
basil to taste
red pepper flakes to taste
S&P
good pour red wine

Saute the onion and garlic in olive oil. Add remaining ingredients, bring to boil. Reduce and simmer for at least 45 minutes, more is fine.

Meatballs!

Meatballs in Marinara
1 slice bread, chopped fine
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 egg
About a 1/4 cup shredded Romano or Parm
Basil
Thyme
Oregano
Salt and pepper
1 pkg lean ground turkey
Olive oil
1 jar marinara or other pasta sauce
1 can diced tomatoes, drained

Mix bread (gluten free works), garlic, egg, cheese, turkey, and a good pinch each of basil, thyme, oregano and S&P with your hands. Roll into balls, any size you want (up to about 2 inches across.) Stick in the fridge til ready to use.

Heat oil on high heat, and brown the balls on each side as best you can for a couple of minutes. Add sauce and tomatoes. Simmer, covered, about 20 minutes or til the meatballs are cooked through.

Serve over pasta. About 5 servings.

Healthy Week, day one.

Since it is your job to keep me on track, I suppose it's my job to be honest. Which is so not fun...sigh. So here's how Day 1 of Healthy Week went.

Day 1:Yay Me!
Did 1/2 hour of Yoga (hard yoga, too. Ow)
Did leg lifts til I couldn't lift my legs anymore
No booze
A massive amount of fiber (and I do mean massive...46g)
No coffee, just herbal tea

Day 1:Damnit, Pam!
Probably not enough water
Chips (with peach salsa...I swear, it's an addiction)
There was possibly a Sugar Free Klondike bar for dessert, but hello, 4g of fiber? (I'll go with that being half bad)

Not terrible. Not the best, either, but for me, I'm impressed. Yes, that's kind of sad. I don't care.

I'm also impressed that I went to the store and got 4 full meals worth of food (plus breakfast stuff!) and only spent 70 bucks. (Thank you, Cooking Light, for your cheap meal ideas) Last night was Shrimp Fra Diavolo, tonight is a beer braised roast, and I also got stuff for vegetarian enchiladas and chicken piccata. Yum.

The shrimp was good...it wasn't fantastic, but it was good, and really quick. Less than an hour total to prep, cook, eat, and clean up. I pretty much followed the recipe, adding more garlic and more red pepper. Fresh shrimp would have been better, but frozen were cheaper...oh, well. Hubby told me he likes it better with clams, meaning he thought I had made red clam linguine with shrimp. I hadn't even thought of it like that, but he was totally right. Good either way!

Ok. Now back to flushing myself with water. Gym tonight!

Saucy!

I'll admit, I'm a little intimidated by homemade pasta sauce. For one, I can buy awesome sauce in a jar for like 3 bucks. Even though we typically still add fresh garlic and onion, it's seriously too easy. And for another, the hubby makes great homemade sauce, so I don't like to out-do him.

Except I totally do, I'm just afraid I won't.

Which is why I had to share my latest concoction, which I thought was a total success. Maybe not as good as the husband's...or Giada's...but this is my blog, damnit.

I didn't take a pic cause y'all know what marinara looks like. But in case you need one...thanks, Veer.

Homemade Mushroom Marinara
Olive Oil
5 cloves garlic, minced
half an onion, chopped finely
1 large can crushed tomatoes
1 small can tomato sauce
About 2 tbsp tomato paste
dried basil
dried oregano
red pepper flakes
Salt and Pepper
1 pkg. sliced mushrooms
About a tsp balsamic vinegar (or a tbsp sugar, either work)

Saute garlic and onion in a splash of oil, about 2 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, sauce and paste until mixed well. Add about a tsp each of basil and oregano, and about a 1/2 tsp each red pepper and salt, and about 1/4tsp pepper.

Bring to a simmer, add mushrooms and balsamic. Cover and let simmer on low as long as you want to, really, up to about an hour. I do about 30 minutes. I'm not blessed with patience...
In the whole pot, about 450 cals, 9g fat, 18g fiber, 17g protein, 78g carbs. Split it up as you wish.

Yes, I hand-address envelopes. You should too.

How is it Friday already? Time flew this week for me. Good projects at work-the company Christmas cards and a kid's puzzle book, which is especially fun cause I get to be super cheese. I named one puzzle A-maze-ing! Amazing, indeed.

Anyway, because time flew, I didn't really think about the fact that my own holiday cards should probably go out sometime during the holidays (I think last year's ended up as 'Hope you're having a Happy New Year' card)...which stressed me out for the two minutes it took me to order the cards I made but never got around to actually ordering a week or so ago. And then I discovered that you can pick up your kodakgallery.com prints the SAME DAY from Target. Hel-lo.

I'll use any excuse to go to Target, I really will.

But that all meant dinner last night needed to be speedy, cause it was envelope addressing time. So I ran to the store to get some ground turkey for meat sauce, and noticed the mushrooms looked good...and so did the bell peppers (talking about it earlier apparently inspired me), and before I knew it, I had made a cacciatore of sorts. Not as speedily as I would have hoped, but it was really good. We decided it would make an awesome chunky pizza sauce. Mmmm. I'm gonna try it tonight while the hubby's at football (play-offs...it never ends). And then I'm going to get around to actually addressing envelopes.

Turkey Cacciatore
1 pkg Italian-seasoned lean ground turkey
1 pkg mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
1 green onion, roughly chopped
1/4 to 1/2 red onion, roughly chopped
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 jar pasta sauce (I like Newman's Own or 5 Brothers mushroom options)
red pepper flakes to taste (I do about a 1/2 tsp)
1 tsp balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup red wine

Heat a large soup pot, and add the turkey. As you brown it, break the meat into pieces and cook until none is pink anymore. Add mushrooms, onion, garlic and bell pepper, saute with meat about 2 minutes. Add sauce, red pepper, vinegar and wine, mix well. Return to simmer, cover, and cook at med-low for about 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Serve with pasta and garlic bread. (If you can. Though I usually let myself have an itty bitty slice on pasta nights. Eh.) If you like cheese, I thought our romano/asiago/parm blend was good.
Makes about 5 servings. Per serving(no cheese), about 270 cals, 10g fat, 5g fiber, 27g protein, 30g carbs

Take two.

I know I like to act like a master chef, but even I...hide your shock...am known to screw things up royally from time to time.

I have been excited to try grilled pizza, which my buddy the bierbitzch turned me onto, for about a week and a half. So because he raves about it, and promised this video from allrecipes would make it easy as...well, pie...I went for it.

He's a doll, for after I sent him a pic of my initial result last week, his exact reply was "Grilled pizza takes 2 to three times to perfect. The crust is finicky." And gluten-free pizza dough IS finicky, more so than most. But seriously? This is just sad.

So we're trying again. This time I made crust from a mix, so it would start as raw dough instead of pre-shaped. Again...gluten-free dough is not the easiest to work with. And I don't bake. All the measuring and mixing, the kneading and the mess? I'm good, thanks. So the expectation for this was interesting at best.

As the dough 'rose,' I got the ingredients gathered up. I love Hawaiian pizza, so I decided to try a Pammy-version...
1/2 cup marinara
1/2 cup part skim shredded mozzarella
1/2 cup pineapple, cut into small pieces
1 oz prosciutto
1/8 cup toasted pine nuts
couple slices raw onion
couple leaves of basil, torn into small pieces
(The husband put fresh garlic on his)

I used the Arrowhead Mills pizza dough crust mix, added quite a bit of white rice flour (it was sticky!) and followed the directions on the box. Grilled a couple minutes a side, added the toppings, grilled a few more, and voila!


The dough recipe makes two pizzas, so I just rolled the rest into strips, sprayed with olive oil, sprinkled well with garlic powder, salt, and a bit of red pepper flakes, and baked me up some delicious breadsticks.

Pssh, and I say I can't bake...

And lucky for me, he never complains about doing the dishes.

Continuing down the road of hubby-favorites...it's been pretty obvious lately that chicken parm needed to be in the mix this week. The look of desire/jealousy on his face while watching the new Carl's Jr. Parmesan Chicken Sandwich commercials has spoken volumes.

Side note. Being in advertising—a woman in advertising, in particular—I'm supposed to hate the Carl's Jr. (Hardee's for you East Coasters) commercials. I don't. I think they're genius. They have no qualms with marketing directly to the caveman, and make no apologies for it. I respect that. It's obviously effective. And let's face it...if you have to eat fast food, it's the best there is. Even the protein burger (no bun for moi) is deliciously messy. If you're gonna eat fat kid fast-food, go for the gold and get something that drips down your arm. Don't fake the funk like you're eating something healthy just because you look refined while eating it. Seriously, you're not fooling anyone.

So yes, Chicken Parm is one of the hubby's faves, which I'm glad about, cause I love it. Cheesy Italian comfort food? Done. I struggle to keep it reasonably low-fat, cause cheese really is one of the best things about it. But I do my best. Tonight was also hard because I made my half without the delicious herbed-cheese breading, and then got to watch him eat his between two slices of sourdough. He's lucky I love him.


Chicken Parmesan
12oz chicken breast tenders
olive oil
a couple cloves garlic, minced
1/4 red onion, chopped
1 jar marinara sauce (whatever you like)
small pour balsamic vinegar (1-2 tsps)
small handful basil, thinly sliced
2 slices provolone cheese, quartered
2 tbsp parmesan cheese
4 servings hot cooked pasta

Chicken breading (optional):
egg, beaten
Italian breadcrumbs, about a 1/4 cup
big pinch dried basil
big pinch dried oregano
big pinch parmesan cheese
salt and pepper

Heat a large splash of olive oil (about a tbsp) in a large skillet over medium high heat. Sprinkle chicken with salt and pepper and garlic powder. If you want to bread them, skip the sprinkling and dip tender in egg, then dip/roll in breadcrumb mix til well covered. Either way, then arrange chicken in skillet and brown each side for about 3 minutes. Remove chicken from pan and keep warm.

Heat a bit more oil in skillet. Saute onion and garlic about 2 minutes. Add marinara sauce, balsamic vinegar and basil, bring to simmer. Add chicken, reduce to low and cover. Once chicken is reheated, arrange provolone across the chicken and sprinkle with parmesan. Cover, turn off heat and let sit about five minutes or until melted. Serve over pasta. Serves four.
About 450 cals (including pasta), 9g fat, 4g fiber, 61g carbs, 27g protein

If you want the husband version, toast some sourdough, throw on some extra provolone and spoon on chicken and sauce. Eat while making happy noises as your wife stares longingly at your sandwich.

Yum. He even got real pasta. Lucky, lucky man.

Feeling loverly.

If you have awesome friends like I do, they pay attention when you bitch about things like not having a meat tenderizer. And buy you one. So K, thank you. I owe you one. I prefer paying in food, beer, and/or dirty martinis. Take your pick, love.

As long as I'm dedicating things to those I love, this one is for the hubby. Our first anniversary is this weekend, so I'm making his favorites this week. Yes, I'm Suzy Homemaker. If he's lucky, I'll even iron something.

Ok, that's not actually going to happen, but maybe I'll wear an apron and heels while I cook. Of course, first I'd have to buy an apron...this could be interesting.

Chicken Parmesan is tomorrow. Can't wait.

Chicken Picatta
10-12oz skinless, boneless chicken breast
About a 1/4 cup flour (I use rice flour or gluten-free baking flour)
About a tablespoon butter
Splash olive oil
1 cup uncooked white rice
1 cup white wine (chardonnay or pinot grigio are good)
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice (a little less than one lemon)
2 1/4 cups chicken broth, divided
cornstarch (about two teaspoons)
2 tablespoons capers (I use a bit more, but we really like capers)
6 or so cloves minced garlic
salt and pepper
Pinch red pepper flakes
Chopped italian parsley, for garnish

Boil 2 cups chicken broth. Add rice, reduce to simmer, cover and cook 15 minutes. Remove from heat, keep covered til ready to serve.

In the meantime, lay chicken between pieces of wax paper or plastic wrap and pound with a tenderizer (since we have one now) til thinner. On a plate or shallow bowl, combine flour, a pinch each of salt and pepper and red pepper flakes. Dredge chicken pieces in flour mix.

Heat butter and oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Cook chicken about 3-4 minutes per side until brown and cooked through. Remove chicken from pan, place on plate and cover with foil. Add wine, lemon juice, capers, and garlic to pan and bring to a simmer. In small bowl, combine remaining 1/4 cup broth and cornstarch, whisk til smooth, then stir into sauce. Cook a couple minutes until it thickens. Add salt and pepper to taste. Serve chicken over rice. Spoon on some sauce and top with parsley.
*I like this with rice, but it's also great over cooked pasta.
Serves three. (Two with leftovers)
About 480 cals, 9g fat, 1g fiber, 33g protein, 66g carbs

Yet, I never get around to carving one.

I love pumpkin. Love it. I have no real idea why, either. Maybe because I love fall, and that's the only time I get to have all the specialty pumpkin stuff.

Seriously, it's ridiculous. From October to December, I eat Trader Joe's Pumpkin Butter with my breakfast pretty much very morning (great on everything from waffles to cottage cheese...best on both together), relish my Starbucks pumpkin spice latte, and actually get excited when I see things like Dreyer's new Pumpkin Double Churned ice cream (it will be mine).

But pumpkin doesn't have to be banished to breakfast/dessert. When I was in my pasta-eating heyday, I once ordered pumpkin ravioli at the Il Fornaio restaurant on Coronado Island. And. almost. died. Unbelievable. And because I recreate things, I went home and got to work.

I used to be a badass and make my own pasta for this, but it's a lot of work and mess, and unless you have all afternoon to spend on it, not really worth it (though you can also use wonton wrappers, and that speeds it up). So I switched to stuffing manicotti or jumbo shells awhile ago. The problem now, however, is that those are both really hard to find in gluten-free options, so it's been over 3 years since I've been able to make it.

Until now. The craving got the better of me the other night, and it was decided pumpkin pasta was happening for Halloween. And while the scavenger hunt wasn't bump-free, I finally found my plan C...gluten-free lasagna noodles, which become pasta rolls in a pinch. Lots of them, which makes it unfortunate the husband doesn't feel the same way about pumpkin that I do.

Oh, well...more for me and my mama, who is visiting this weekend and more than happy to help.

Happy Halloween!

Pumpkin Stuffed Shells
One box jumbo shells (or manicotti)
About a cup cooked pureed pumpkin*
1 large shallot, minced
olive oil
1 container low-fat ricotta
1 egg
salt and pepper (large pinch of each)
1/4 cup shredded parmesan cheese
large pinch sage
About 1/4 cup walnuts, roughly chopped
Container light alfredo sauce
1% milk, about a 1/4 cup
Chopped parley for garnish

*I used pumpkin pie-ready canned pumpkin. If you use regular pumpkin, add a large pinch of nutmeg to the recipe.

Cook the shells according to package directions for al dente (not quite completely cooked). Drain.

Saute the shallot in a splash of olive oil for about 3 minutes or until soft. Transfer to a large bowl and let cool.

Add pumpkin, ricotta, egg, parmesan, salt, pepper and sage to the shallots and mix well.

In large baking dish coated with cooking spray, pour about a half cup of alfredo sauce and spread it evenly across the bottom of the dish. Pour the rest of the sauce in a small bowl, and mix in milk and about half the chopped walnuts.

Fill the cooked shells with pumpkin mixture. It'll be messy, have fun with it. As you fill them, line them up in the baking dish to make them all fit as best you can. When you're done, cover the shells with the alfredo-walnut sauce. Sprinkle the rest of the chopped walnuts evenly across the top.

Bake at 400 for 30 minutes or until a little bubbly. Sprinkle with a bit of parsley before serving. Serves 8. De-licious.

As a Halloween treat, I'm not going to tell you how many calories are in these. Just enjoy.

(Ok, if you need to know, about 315 cals, 11g fat, 4g fiber, 11g protein, 42g carbs)

Like a true local.

And onto lunch now...having one of those great Fridays when the boss is out of town. That's not what makes it great, to be clear, I have a fantastic boss, but I always feel guilty taking a long lunch when other people are here "working." Quotes cause it's Friday, and we all know how that goes.

The husband was craving Luigi's last night, so we decided to have our weekly Friday lunch date there today. How do I describe Luigi's...hmmm. Luigi's is THE place to have lunch in Bakersfield. Very much a see-and-be-seen kind of place that has been around forever. Plus they have a decent deli next door—olives, sauces, a great wine selection, meats, cheeses...it's really the closest thing in town to a real Italian deli.

Decorated wall to wall with photos of local sports teams from the last, I don't know, hundred years, Luigi's is always stock full of people waiting both inside and outside for a table. Plus they have really limited hours, which doesn't help the crowding. (I took this pic during a commercial shoot we did there a few months back. That's the hubby. He's our favorite extra.)

The servers have all been here forever...it's all just very down-homey and local, if that makes sense. But the food is good. It's hard for me, though, since I want to eat everything and can have pretty much nothing. But I try my best to be good—my salad normally comes with a french roll from a local bakery, and as much as I wanted one, cause they are amazing, I declined. Our server thoughtfully asked if I still wanted all the side goodies. Um, yes please. Marinated carrot, salami and swiss rolled up, btw...yum. Better on a hard french roll, but I'm over it.

The husband, not surprisingly, ordered the side of 'tongue for one.' I've mentioned tongue is a huge Bakersfield fave, but I don't really get it. Maybe because, you know, it's a cow's tongue, and that doesn't really work for me. Though as often as I point this out, he doesn't seem to mind. People here l.o.v.e. it. If we recall, the husband has eaten it twice this week. (Keeps him strong, he says. Sure, babe.)

I meant to take pics of our entrees (New York steak and pasta for him, the Monica's antipasta salad for me) but we kind of tore into them immediately instead. Oops.

But had we ordered a pastrami sandwich, it would have looked like this. Again...from the photo shoot. I love my job.

Braciola

So, because dinner last night was a bit of a process, and all the steps looked delicious even on their own, we're switching it up with a cooking lesson today. And since I consider myself the utmost authority on pretty much everything anyway...why not. (Wow, my sarcasm hits high notes some days.)

Once in a great while I decide to spoil the husband with food that tastes really bad for him, even if it actually isn't. It makes him happy, and I feel far less guilty about the nights he gets nothing but salad for dinner.

Last night was Braciola, from a Giada recipe I altered...I heart Giada so much. How she makes this kind of food all the time and stays so gorgeously thin makes me think she may have made some sort of deal with the devil, and I respect that. But anyway, it's got a few steps...make it on a night you have some time to wait, it cooks a long time.


Braciola
One 1-1.25lb flank steak
4 slices reduced fat Provolone cheese
2 oz(half cup) Romano cheese
handful chopped Italian parsley
1 cup chopped fresh baby spinach
2 cloves garlic, minced
olive oil
1 cup white wine
1 jar Marinara sauce (I like Newman's Own)
Salt and Pepper


First thing to do is pound the crap out of the steak to make it tender (it makes a huge difference on this one). Unfold the steak on some wax paper, then beat it with a meat tenderizer, rolling pin, or whatever makeshift contraption you think will work...i.e. my juicer wrapped in cling wrap.

Note: I don't recommend the juicer route...the cling wrap totally broke and I got to clean smashed meat out of my juicer. But I was feeling creative. I think we own every kitchen gadget ever...but no tenderizer. Even though it was on our wedding registry...just sayin'...

Next, place the slices of provolone evenly across the steak. You may need to rip them into pieces to fit better.
Mix together the Romano, spinach, parsley, garlic, and a drizzle of olive oil in a bowl, then spread the spinach mixture over the top of the steak and provolone.
Once all the yummy inside goodies are spread evenly, roll the steak up "jelly roll fashion."

If you, like me, have never fashioned a jelly roll, just roll it up tight starting at one end, making sure not to squeeze out the insides in the process.

If you have cooking twine, use it to tie up the roll to keep it together and shaped while cooking. If not, you can use toothpicks...I used about 6, I think. Spread them out evenly, and make sure and leave enough toothpick-end sticking out so you can remove them later. Sprinkle roll with salt and pepper.

The next step is browning the roll. Heat about a tablespoon of olive oil over medium high heat in a large skillet or stockpot. Place roll in pan, and let cook about 2 minutes.

Turn the meat on its side (a quarter turn) using tongs, and repeat til you get it brown all the way around. Takes about 8 minutes total. Turn the roll so it's seam side up.

Once you're all brown and it's smelling fabulous, reduce the heat to medium and add the cup of wine. Let it come to a boil, then add the jar of sauce. Stir the liquids together around the meat, and make sure plenty of sauce is on top of the roll. Cover, let it come to a simmer, and reduce the heat to low.

Just let it cook, but check it every half hour or so and spoon more sauce over the roll. If the bottom is getting too brown, you can flip it over after an hour.

After an hour and half, turn off the heat, remove the lid, and let sit for a few minutes. Take it out of the sauce, and place on cutting board. Carefully remove the twine or toothpicks (get them all!), then cut roll into six slices. I served with a carb (quinoa for me, linguine for the husband—I was feeling particularly generous last night) and steamed spinach. Yum, yum, yum.


One slice with sauce= About 390 calories, 22g fat, 1g fiber, 26g protein, 13g carbs

I wish my parents were Italian.

We know I'm not exactly a football fan, but I married one. Which means for approximately four months a year, my life is a little in upheaval—the husband is an official, so he's gone at least two evenings a week working high school games, as well as all day Saturdays, when he refs youth football for 12 hours.

This is bittersweet...I don't like having him gone that much (I kinda like the guy) but at the same time, I get to take advantage of Netflix's expansive collection of the TV shows I'm way behind on and he doesn't care about. For the record, I just finished Season 2 of Dexter, am about to start Grey's Anatomy from last season, and Gossip Girl's Season 1, disc 2 is on the way—I'm stoked.

But football season also means I get to play in the kitchen. On my home-alone nights, I'm a big fan of my old stand by recipes—Tuna Casserole, Cabbage Pancakes, Baked Chicken Parm, or Chicken & cabbage soup—which are easy, yummy, and with the exception of Parm, are weird enough to not necessarily be the husband's favorites...though I honestly never make them for him, so I can't actually back that up.

Tonight, however, is Wedding Soup night. I had an acquaintance's Italian mother make it when I was in New York a few years ago, and I've made my wanna-be version ever since. But all summer I hear, "It's hotttt. Why do you want soup? I don't want soup." And all summer, even in 102 degrees, I want Wedding Soup. And tonight's the first time I've gotten a chance to make it.


Wanna-be Italian Wedding Soup
12 cups chicken broth
16-20oz extra lean ground turkey
One egg
One egg white
Handful of fresh basil, chopped
1/4 red onion, finely chopped
red pepper to taste
garlic powder, at least a teaspoon
fresh or dried oregano, a healthy shake.
1 oz shredded romano or parmesan
2 cups spinach, chopped
Big handful julienned,shredded, or diced carrots
1/4c bread crumbs (I skip this now...but the meatballs stick together better when you use them)
2 cups small-shaped pasta
salt and pepper


In a big bowl, combine turkey, egg, basil, red pepper, garlic, oregano, cheese, and salt and pepper(and breadcrumbs, if using). Use your hands to mix it all together well. Shape into small meatballs (about an inch or so), place in fridge to chill. (Or, if you have extra time, throw them in the oven at 400 for 8 minutes or so)

Bring chicken broth to boil in a big soup pot, add meatballs one at a time, slowly, in different places in the pot so they don't stick together as they cook. Reduce to a simmer, cover, and let cook 15 minutes. Add carrot, spinach, and pasta, and let cook about 10 minutes, or until pasta is cooked.

Serve topped with a healthy pinch/handful of cheese. Makes 6 servings.
About 250 cals, 10g fat, 1g fiber, 22g protein, 17g carbs (without topping cheese or breadcrumbs)