Fresh? Sure. Easy? Ehhhhh.

Dear Fresh & Easy,
Since you came to town, I have been nothing but supportive of you. A store with obscure items a la Trader Joe's, but with name brand products so you aren't stuck with unscented natural deodorant? Excellent. You may have built an excessive number of locations at one time and you don't seem to feel like actually opening them all (um, Brimhall and Jewetta...Coffee and Hageman), but the important thing is that you did open one in incredibly close proximity to my house.

And I've appreciated this. But I've also assumed that with your easy access and cheap beer prices comes a guaranteed pleasant shopping experience. Unfortunately, however...not so much.

Exhibit A
The far-too-frequent union picketers. Um, when all the big grocery stores had picketers, I had to hot step across town to find stores where I didn't have to fight my way through ornery/bored people in my face. Gah, horrible. I'm a big ol' liberal, but my boss doesn't have to give me health insurance either(under current law...moving on). He does (not the point), but if he didn't, I wouldn't get to picket. I'd get my ass fired. (Yes, I'm oversimplifying, I realize that. No offense, I swear. Do your thing, but don't expect me to get involved. Either way, I need to buy toilet paper.)

Exhibit A.1
The being owned by Tesco bit. According to the OC Voice paper (March 6, 2008), "One Tesco manager admitted, “I can’t afford to throw away [expired food] because that is what they [corporate bosses] keep using to judge my performance. If I keep throwing things away, I’ll be in trouble with them, and I don’t want any of it.”"

Ew. Add that to the fact that Tesco's been called the Walmart of Europe. And we know how I feel about Walmart. Oh, you don't? I hate them.

Exhibit B
I went on Wednesday and bought some fresh soup, some copppa ham, and a salad for lunch. Paid $12.45. On Friday, I checked my bank statement. I was charged $12.45 on both Wednesday AND Thursday. Awesome. I have since been reimbursed. But still.

Exhibit C
The bitchy lady that works at the branch up the street.

C.1: (4 months ago)
No Coor's Light to be found.
Pammy: Do you have any Coor's Light in the back? Looks like you're out.
Bitchy Lady: It's in the cooler.
P: No, it's empty.
BL: Then it's at the end of the aisle.
P: No, I checked there, too.
BL: (blank stare)...It's there.
P: ...But it's not.
BL: SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHH. I'll get it for you.
Pammy waits patiently. Patiently for her, anyway...5 minutes later...
BL: We're out.

C.2 (Today)
$40 purchase. We have a coupon for $5 off purchases of $25 and more. The coupon machine eats our coupon and doesn't give us the discount.
Husband: Excuse me...the machine ate our coupon.
BL: (blank stare)...didn't you scan it first?
Pammy: ...no, we put it in the "insert coupon here" slot.
BL: SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH. I'll have to go get the key and get it out and rescan it.
Husband:...thank you?
Pammy and Husband wait patiently. Patiently for them, anyway...5 minutes later...
BL: Heeere (scans)...This coupon won't work.
P: ...why not. It's over $25.
BL: This coupon is only good if it's $25 not counting alcohol or dairy....(Judge McJudgerson glances at the cart).
Pammy and husband converse amongst themselves "$40 minus $20 of beer/champagne and greek yogurt...yeah, lame"
BL: You can't use it. You bought too much alcohol. Maybe next time.
Husband:...yeah, we got that.

So, F&E, my one time friend...you have some 'splaining to do. Cause, really? Such high hopes. Don't let me down.
Love, kinda...
Pammy